Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Where Did The Time Go?

I'm sure this is something all parents go through, but the past couple of weeks I have been really noticing how my little Diva isn't so little anymore. Where did the time go? As dumb as this sounds it really hit me Sunday when I was at the mall. The kids are outgrowing their clothes left and right and had some gift cards to Gap. I was looking at the girls clothes in Baby Gap and it was all too small for her. She's a 5 now. That took me back for a minute. Another night not long ago Aunt B, Diva and I were at Target when Aunt B asked me if Diva could wear the big girl clothes yet. It took me a second, but I realized, that yes, she can. Ouch. She's not a baby. I have Apple TV on my living room TV. While it plays music pictures we post on Flickr scroll on the TV. I have pictures from a few months ago mixed in with the most recent pictures. As I watch these pictures scroll by I notice that a few months ago Diva was still pudgy and had a baby face. Lately in her pictures she is thinner and looks more like a little girl. When did this happen? I'm pretty sure she was just born! I'm sure Mr. Hubs and I are like most parents. When our babies are first born we can't wait until they are sleeping through the night. We are excited about every milestone that they cross and get excited thinking about when they are big and all the fun stuff we can do. We did that with Diva and we are doing it with Shrek and Donkey. It's a double edged sword for me. While it's really nice that she is more self sufficient and can dress herself, feed herself and go to the potty. It's also a little sad that she isn't that pudgy little baby anymore that relied on me for everything. Christmas was fun this year and I was so excited that I hardly slept the night before. Diva knew what Christmas was this year and was so excited for Santa to come and to see what he was bringing her. It was so fun to watch her and see the excitement she had. Mr. Hubs and I talked about when Shrek and Donkey are older and how much fun the Holiday's are going to be around our house. Frantic but fun. While I know the future is exciting, it's a little sad to say goodbye to the past.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Thanksgiving Thursday

Thanksgiving Thursday is a time to be thankful for what you have in your life...even when you are having a really bad week, take a minute and reflect on the good. I have no ambition to do this every Thursday, but I will strive to take the time to pause and reflect and remember the good things in life that I am thankful for.
Today I am thankful for...
SAHM...I was never going to get married. I certainly was never going to have kids. I was going to travel the world and be a writer. Then along came Mr. Hubs in 2001 and changed my way of thinking about everything and here I am today a SAHM and I love it. I am so thankful to have the opportunity to be able to do so.
STTN....those boys have been doing it for a couple of weeks now and it is pure bliss. Even though we've all been sick with colds their nighttime sleep has not been disrupted too much. Now, napping is another story!
Christmas...I love Christmas. I always have. I love the beauty of it, the tradition, the family, the giving, everything. I love it. 
Giving...It sounds odd, but I really love to give to people. Christmas is a good opportunity for me to indulge myself and give. I get so excited for Mr. Hubs and Diva to open their gifts I can hardly stand it. When Shrek and Donkey are older it will be so much fun!

Monday, December 13, 2010

Not My Daughter!

I blogged about a month ago how Diva had been throwing temper tantrums and getting in trouble at school. Well, a few days after that blog post Diva comes home. We are in the living room playing. She is being oddly good. Meaning, no temper tantrums, she hadn't back talked and was being very helpful. Weird. Well, about an hour after she had been home I finally got around to looking at the daily sheet her teacher sends home everyday. I'm reading about what she had for lunch and what art project they did. I make it to the end of the page and it says that my sweet little Diva SLAPPED HER TEACHER IN THE FACE! I am furious. I asked Diva about this and she said "Yes...I wanted to be the first outside and she was making us get in a line." WHAT?! I am on the verge of murdering this child. I have never been so angry at her in my life. In lieu of killing her I send her to her room. I was afraid if I did anything other than that I might hurt her. By this point Mr. Hubs comes out of his office to see what the issue is. I tell him and he is just as angry as me. This is not our child. She does not behave that way. The past few weeks have been a cumulation of horrible behavior. I was struck by the thought that daycare would call us when she threw a temper tantrum but when she slaps her teacher they don't do anything more than write it on her paper. Mr. Hubs and I discuss what appropriate action to take with Diva. We can't just let her slide by thinking this is okay. It is so far from okay. And, slapping?  We don't slap at our house. I don't know that I or Mr. Hubs have ever been slapped. Diva gets a spanking maybe twice a year. We debated on spanking her. I felt that the moment for spanking had passed and that I was to angry to do it. We had taken her dress up clothes away for the temper tantrum. What to do? What to do? We finally decided after a stern reprimand and threats that if she ever did that again we would kill her she had to call her Aunt B and Nana and tell them about her offense. That crushed her. She did not want to tell her two most favorite people in the world what she had done. Of course we warned Aunt B and Nana before Diva had spoken to them about what had happened and they needed to make it clear that behavior was not okay. For the rest of the evening until dinner Diva had to sit in her room by herself and at dinner Mr. Hubs did not let Diva talk. Not one word. Then it was off to take a shower and straight to bed without having a book read. It was complete torture for the child. I think it might have been more effective than any other punishment we could of done. The next morning there was more discussion about making good choices and we would kill her if she ever did that again. Diva promised that she would never do something like that again and she would be a "good girl." Mr. Hubs made Diva apologize to her teacher when they got to school that morning. It's been about a month now since that happened. I'm still in shock that my child would do something like that. But, to her credit she has been a really great kid since then. She has even stopped peeing in her pants so much. We still have accidents and still have to remind her daily to pee in the potty, but it is much improved over what it was.
I've been asked a lot since I had Shrek and Donkey if there have been problems with Diva or how does Diva feel about her brothers. My response has always been the same. Diva adores her brothers. She is always so excited to see them and always wants to hug and kiss on them. However, at school she has had a lot of behavior problems. Behaviors that are completely out of character for her. It has really thrown Mr. Hubs and I for a loop. It has been such a concern that we have questioned her about school and if everything is okay there and has something happened to her that is not okay. The forensic interviewer in me has really come out. She is insistent that everything is fine. The only other conclusion that I have come to is her brother's. That is the only change in her world. Mr. Hubs and I have been making an extra effort to do special things with Diva and to spend some special one on one time. Sometimes it's been hard to fit it in but we decided it was important to do this. I especially have been making an effort to do things with her just her and I without her brothers. It's easy to get caught up in the day to day routine of life and taking care of new babies. Since we have been making the extra effort and taking time to spend with Diva and laid down the law and let her know that her behavior was not okay under any circumstances....life has gone much smoother. She has been a much better behaved girl and things have been happier around our house. We still have to be pretty forceful with the rules and not let her have a lot of leeway. We start to see the sassiness and temper tantrums flair up when we let her have to much wiggle room. But, in general, the Mayer house has been a much happier house since then, I'm just sorry her teacher had to get slapped for us to get here.

In Sickness and Health

The Holiday season is in full force as well as cold's around our house. It's been a great week! To catch everyone up both little boys have colds complete with fevers this week. I feel so bad for them. Other than Tylenol and sucking out their noses there just isn't much I can do for them which makes me feel miserable. I don't like it when my kids are sick. I want to make them better instantly and I can't do that. I feel helpless. In addition to the little one's having colds Mr. Hubs and I have colds as well. Mr. Hubs has a yucky cough with his. He always has the need to cough at really awkward times. Such as when we are putting the boys to bed. It's funny to watch him try to muffle the cough and the look of panic in his face. I know he can't help it. I haven't gotten the cough. I just have the miserable runny nose, chest congestion and all around lousy feeling. I have a very low tolerance to medication. For some reason I still think that I can take cold medication and function properly. It's been a struggle for me the past few days because I keep taking the medication and it keeps making me feel loopy. When I was in the hospital after having Shrek and Donkey they gave me morphine. Which was great, but there are parts about those few days I have no memory of. I'm told one of my good friends came to see me and I don't remember her being there or me talking to her. I just remember being itchy.
Mr. Hubs keeps apologizing for making us all sick. I keep reminding him that Diva had a cold with fever a couple of weeks ago. If anyone is to blame it's her. How dare she!! Before children Mr. Hubs and I were never sick. We had the occasional cold but never anything more serious. Since children I feel like we have a revolving door of illness. I get excited about summer time and warmer weather because I know we will all be sick less.
I was feeling a little smug just before Thanksgiving. I was looking at Facebook and reading about how everyone and their kids were sick with one thing or the other. I remember thinking to myself "I am so grateful none of us have been sick. We haven't even had colds!" Well not two days later Diva has a fever. Yay...and so it began. I will admit that we have faired far better this fall than last. By Christmas last year we all had a handful of colds, Diva had H1N1 and regular flu and I had strep throat and bronchitis. So, we are fairing better than last year. It's just miserable when you are in the midst of it.