Thursday, November 28, 2013

Underwears

So.....a while back I may or may not have given Mr. Mayer some crap for packing my shoes and nearly having to go barefoot through a couple of airports. Because. Seriously. He packed my shoes. Now, I should probably come clean. I typically forget to pack something every time we go somewhere. Most of the time I forget to pack a child's underwear. Why? I have no idea. Maybe because they are small? Beats me. This trip to my inlaws is no different. Totally forgot to pack the Dudes some underwear. We discovered this at 6:15 this morning. Thanksgiving morning no less.  Happy turkey day!!! So, being a good little Mom I wash the Dudes underwear, or "underwears" as #2 calls them. When they are washed and dried I promptly dress the Dudes and #2 promptly pees his pants. Doh! Of course he did. Now my child who LOVES his penis is going commando. You can imagine how much he is loving this. I may never get him back in his underwears again.

Monday, October 14, 2013

A Lazy Weekend....

Let's all face it...having a weekend when you have little to nothing to do is a very rare occurrence. At least in my family it is. When I looked at our calendar and saw we had NOTHING on the calendar for Saturday and one brief mandatory event on Sunday afternoon I felt like doing cartwheels. I mean. If I could do cartwheels I would do one. But I can't so I didn't. Anyway....nothing. Zilch. Not. A. Thing. It was so nice. Saturday we got up and went and worked out with my personal trainer (ugh, that will be a separate post. I caved. I hope it works). Then we went home and did a bunch of nothing. And showered. That was a must. After the Dudes took a brief nap (we are taking shorter and shorter naps these days. If there is a nap at all. This is sad news for me) we loaded up and went to Cherry Berry for some ice cream. That made for some very excited kids. After ice cream we went to the Pumpkin Patch. It's mandatory you go this time of year if you have kids. Judging by the crowd there everyone else believes it's mandatory too. This was mine and the Dudes 2nd trip to the patch in a little more than 24 hours. We had JUST been there the previous morning with some friends.



However, when you have a 6 year old Diva who thinks it is totally unfair that her brother's got to go and she didn't combined with the brother's need for their Dad to go through the "witches house" with them at the Pumpkin Patch you are going back to said Pumpkin Patch sooner rather than later. So we went with the rest of the state. Funny thing is I ran into a lot of friends and some of the same friends who had been with us the previous morning. I tried to get out of there without buying a pumpkin, but that wasn't happening either. Even after I explained we couldn't carve the pumpkins until closer to Halloween because they would go yucky. We still bought pumpkins. I want to try drilling my pumpkin this year. It looks really cool on Pinterest and we all know everything on Pinterest works out great. I'm getting off track....After the patch the kids were C-R-A-N-K-Y so we hurried home and had breakfast for dinner. I have been craving pancakes like crazy. Weird. So I made Mr. Mayer make me some :) He's a doll. The next day was much the same. No plans other than Diva had pictures for the Children's Nutcracker. She is going to be a butterfly. She is very excited about this. For the part she has to wear her hair in a bun. Shouldn't be a problem except she wanted her hair cut off this summer, and I let her. Now she has crazy chin length hair. Not bun length. I bought a hair piece. The lady helping me at the beauty supply store assured me it was exactly what I needed. It was not. The color was a disaster and it was a hot mess. #3 really loved it.
Aunt Betsy was here. She consulted the ever wise You Tube and figured out a way to get the very short hair into a presentable bun. It worked. Diva was beautiful.
Pictures were very brief. Yay!! Our friends the Nsien's came over that evening for dinner. Mr. Mayer smoked a turkey, we did s'mores in the Chimenea (as all good suburbanites do) and the kids had a great time playing. It was a great, lazy unrushed weekend. The older I get and the busier we all get the more I cherish these weekends.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

An Open Letter to My Babysitter

Dear Babysitter~
I don't hire babysitters willy nilly because I like paying someone else to watch my kids. My husband and I needed a babysitter yesterday to watch our children because we had to be somewhere else. Yes. I have three children. Yes. I am probably more laid back than a lot of other parents I know. Yes. They are active, loud, boisterous children. Yes. They are a lot of work. However, I am putting a lot of trust in you. I am trusting you with three of the most important things in my life. I expect you to treat them as if they are three of the most important things in my life. When my husband called me yesterday afternoon and told me our daughter, our 6 year old daughter, was missing my heart sank. When he said that you had let her "go for a walk" with a little girl, but you weren't sure of the other child's name,  I panicked. When I called my neighbors and they did not know where you were or who the little girl they had seen you with was I cried. Because, yes, that little girl drives me crazy. She asks a million questions. She is demanding and loud. But, she is mine. And I love her more than words can ever say. Not knowing where she was is top on my list of the scariest things ever. After being gone all day I expected all three of my children to be home when I got there. I did not expect to have to drive around my neighborhood and look for her. Thank God I did find her. Because you see...in my former life I worked for an agency that dealt with child abuse. I interviewed children and families who had seen and experienced the worst of humanity. I know what people are capable of and my daughter was missing. After I found my daughter and figured out who she was with and where she had been I went and introduced myself to the child's parents. I had never met them before. They were complete strangers to me and my husband. After speaking further with my husband, the other child's parents and my daughter I find out that my daughter had been gone from OUR home since lunch time. We did not get home until 5pm. I was paying you to babysit all three of my children. All day. She had been wandering around our neighborhood all afternoon. Barefoot. I do not let any of my children play in the front yard without me there with them. I would never let my 6 year old wander around the neighborhood without me knowing where she was or who she was with. I had my cell phone with me all day. We have text each other before. I know you have my number. You could have text or called me at any point in the day. You could have text or called and asked if it was okay if my daughter went with this other child. I am angry and scared that you allowed my daughter to go with someone I did not know. I am angry that I could not find her. Finally I am angry that she had been gone from our home all day. My husband tells me that when he got home you were walking with my 3 year old twins looking for my daughter. One of my boys was walking around the neighborhood barefoot. I dress my kids. Yes. I let them play in the backyard barefoot from time to time. I do not let them go for walks or go anywhere barefoot. They have plenty of shoes. They should have been wearing some. My husband came home half an hour earlier than we said we would. What would have happened if he did not? What would you have done if you had not been able to find my daughter? I am angry and it is going to take me a very long time to get over this. I can tell you this...you will never babysit my children again. You will never be welcome in my home again. You have broken the trust I gave to you and unfortunately you have made it very difficult for anyone else I hire in the future.

Sincerely,
Jayna Mayer~A very angry mother

Saturday, September 21, 2013

When Did This Happen?

I had a realization last night....as I was getting up in the middle of the night to potty....that I have gotten older. I have always been a very sound sleeper. With the exception of children waking me up at night I rarely wake up at night. Except, as I realized last night, I am waking up more often in the middle of the night to go pee. OMG!! I AM TURNING INTO MY MOTHER!!! I always wondered when I was a kid why she ALWAYS got up in the middle of the night to pee. I get it. Over the past few months I am waking up more and more often to pee. In my mind I am still that wide eyed 17 year old who was ready to take on the world. My body is telling me other things. I have weird aches and pains. My bladder shrank. My hair is going grey. I can't stay up all night anymore. Well, who am I kidding? I have never been able to stay up all night. I have experienced heartburn. I mean, seriously. I am not old enough for these issues. Am I? Before long I'm going to be hitting the early bird specials at the restaurants and wearing my nightgown to Wal-Mart. If that happens please, just shoot me. I'm not going to age gracefully.

Monday, September 9, 2013

24 Day Challenge

So.....I have been trying to lose weight and improve my over all health. After the worst picture ever was taken of me last summer I have strived to be more conscious of my choices. And, I started going to the gym more. I wasn't that serious about it at first, but gradually I got there. In March things were starting to go well. By the end of May I was down nearly 30 pounds and feeling like I was conquering my demons. I even liked myself a little. Then a terrible summer happened. I thought my Mom was going to die and I spent what seemed like every other day in my small hometown. Welcome back nearly 10 pounds, old demons, and less frequent gym trips. I wasn't feeling so great about myself by the time we went on our family vacation the end of July. So, I recommitted myself when we got back. I was doing alright. But, just alright. I was going to the gym again. I was trying to eat healthy. I lost a few pounds but just felt stuck. The scale wasn't really moving. I had read about and talked to some friends about Advocare. Betsy had recently done a cleanse through Advocare. I was intrigued. I knew a friend who was a distributor for it. I emailed her and talked with her about it. Done, what the heck. I'll give it a try. I signed up for the Advocare 24 Day Challenge. Then Mr. Mayer's curiosity was peaked and I ordered him the 24 Day Challenge too. I have never done anything like this in my life. I was a little overwhelmed by it at first. We started this past Thursday. There is no dairy, sugar, alcohol, bread, tortilla chips....you know all the joys in life. And, football season just started. Good timing Jayna. Good timing. Oh! No coffee. Well, coffee how I like it. It is clean eating~lean protein, lots of fruits and veggies and complex carbs (whole grains, beans, quinoa, sweet potatoes). In addition to the healthy eating you take some supplements and probiotics. The first couple of days were bumpy. We are on day 6 today. I think things are getting easier. The first 10 days are the most restrictive days. That's the Herbal Cleanse Phase. Days 11-24 we will move into the Max Phase. Everything I've read online says that you can ease up on the restrictions a little during that phase. A few things I have learned through this process is a.) I have an insane sweet tooth b.) We don't really eat that terribly c.) our portions are out of control. The rumor is that it takes 21 days to form a habit. Maybe that's why it's a 24 Day Challenge? I know that in these past few days I have become more aware of what and when I am eating. I think that's a good start. We shall see what the next 20 days bring....

This Tooth Fairy Business

                            
If you have kids you have or will be faced with the Tooth Fairy at some point in time. For us, we are smack in the middle of the Tooth Fairy farce. We've been here for almost 2 years I think. Maybe? Anyway...in our house Mr. Mayer is the Tooth Fairy. We have had the discussion on how much to pay out per tooth. Apparently my suggestion of $.25 was silly. We are about 4 or 5 teeth in to the gig. Things have been going smoothly. Mr. Mayer waits until we go to bed because by then Diva is sound asleep and never knows anyone was there. We were smug thinking we had this thing down pat. Then last night happened. We were getting ready for bed. Diva had written a letter to the Tooth Fairy. Me being awesome wrote a response from the Tooth Fairy. I sent Mr. Mayer upstairs with money and note in hand. Then he runs back downstairs with a look of panic. He totally got busted. Diva's door squeaks a little. She woke up when he opened it and said "Will you close my door Dad?" Doh! Mr. Mayer said the he played it off and told her he was just checking to see if the Tooth Fairy had come yet. Yikes! So, we waited an hour and Mr. Mayer went upstairs again. And totally got busted again. He said he sat down and chatted with her for a minute and made the switch while they were talking. Ahhh!! He ended up grabbing the tooth pillow, note and everything else laying around it and left the money and response note in it's place. He was convinced that he had ruined the magic of the Tooth Fairy. This morning she got up and didn't have a clue that she had even talked to her Dad last night. Whew! However, she did point out that the Tooth Fairy took the tooth pillow. I think the Tooth Fairy will be "mailing" the pillow back to her. This Tooth Fairy business is a lot of work and stress! Sheesh!!


Sunday, August 25, 2013

A Wonderful Trip

The end of July we took the family vacation of a lifetime. We went on a Disney cruise. You all know how the trip ended. All I can say is that the rest of the trip was AH-MAZ-ING!! I can't wait to be able to take another one. We sailed on the Disney Fantasy. When we booked our trip our itinerary was St. Thomas, St. Maarten and Disney Castaway Cay. When we arrived on board our itinerary had changed to Castaway Cay, San Juan and St. Thomas. There was a tropical storm we were trying to avoid. I was okay with that.
Now....prior to the cruise Mr. Mayer and I neither one had EVER been on a cruise of any sort. Other than taking the kids to my in laws house in New Mexico we had not taken them on any other vacations. We were going to have to get up at 4AM to catch our flight to Florida. Needless to say I was very anxious about this trip. I was anxious about traveling with 3 kids. Two of which had never flown. I was anxious that Disney told us to drop our luggage off in Tulsa and it would arrive in our room on the ship. I was anxious about packing for 5 people for 7 days. I was anxious about the kids being stuck on a boat. I was anxious about getting sea sick. I was anxious about being anxious.
Disney makes staying with them way to easy. They definitely cater to your needs. And~our luggage did arrive safe and sound to our room. Our first night there we just acclimated ourselves to our new surroundings. We cleaned up and went to a show and then dinner. Just to feed into my anxiety we drew the short straw and got the late dinner seating. It was at 8:15. That is 2 hours later than my kids are normally used to eating AND there was an hour time difference between there and home (which really helped us). Yikes!! The first two nights were a little rough. Especially that first night. I felt terrible for our servers. After the second night everyone got used to it and the rest of the week went much better. And the food was FABULOUS!
A note about dinner~ on our cruise (I have no experience on any other cruise) we had two servers. Oriel from Jamaica and Istvan from Hungary. They were FABULOUS!! There were 3 restaurants that we cycled through during the week. Oriel and Istavan went to each restaurant and were our servers the entire week. After the first night they had the kids chocolate milks waiting on them when we got to our table. They would bring extra butter for Owen to eat (it's so gross. He would just sit and eat butter). They took the time and got to know us. The kids were slobs. We spilled things, threw things and were loud. It never phased them. All they would say is "It's no problem man!" They would make animals out of napkins and play with the kids. If they couldn't the servers at the tables around us were. The kids loved it. One night at dinner we were given some papers and told to draw a picture and they would animate it on the screens through out the room. That was so much fun. Carter drew on himself more than his paper, but Olivia, Mr. Mayer and I got our pictures animated. It was fun to watch them dance across the TV screens.

Our first stop was at Disney's Castaway Cay. We did a glass bottom boat tour when we first got there. They stopped out on a reef and let everyone feed some fish. This was very exciting. After our boat ride we went to the beach. Mr. Mayer and I have been to the ocean. We have hung out on a beach. I have been in love with the ocean since my first visit. My kids were immediately in love with the beach. They played, splashed and swam for hours. Carter played so hard that he crawled in my lap midday and fell sound asleep. Snoring asleep. I was yelling at Olivia and Owen out in the water. Talking to people around me and the kid never wiggled. I carried him to lunch. Castaway Cay was beautiful. It is in the Bahama islands and looks exactly like something off of a brochure.
Our second stop of the week was San Juan. Now....what happened was no fault of Disney. They were fantastic about the situation. However, when we got to San Juan there was a labor dispute and the transportation workers were picketing. We had a beach excursion planned. We went to our designated waiting lounge and waited.....and waited. For 2 hours we waited. The kids were getting restless and cranky. A lot of excursions were getting cancelled. They couldn't tell us how much longer we were going to have to wait. We scraped the whole thing and went to the pool upstairs and played for a while. Then Olivia went to the kids club (more about that soon) and the boys took a nap. Mr. Mayer hung out with the Dudes while I went and lounged myself in a chair by the pool for a few hours. It was not a bad way to spend the day.
Our third stop of the cruise was St. Thomas. We arrived sometime in the wee hours of the morning so when we woke up later in the morning we were greeted by some breathtaking views. Another scene straight from a brochure. We had a trip to an outdoor zoo/aquarium type place and a butterfly garden. The kids had fun touching sting rays and looking at fish. They even got to feed some birds. However, the butterfly garden was super exciting. They got to hold butterflies and chase them all over the place. I had never seen kids so excited as when a butterfly would come land on them. Over. The. Moon.
Days we weren't docked somewhere we did a detective mystery who done it scavenger hunt with Olivia. We hung out at the pool. We saw all the characters. Many times. Olivia went and had a make over at the Bippity Boppity Boutique. And they had activities for all ages through out the day. From dance parties to fun and games on the top deck. Something was always going on. There wasn't a chance to get bored.
On the ship there was a kids club called the Oceaners Club. It was for kids 3 and up. Kids could come and go anytime. They had games, crafts, quiet rooms, computers and anything else you could imagine. Olivia loved it. Kids under 3 went to a nursery/daycare that was available on the ship. It wasn't as exciting as the kids club, but the Dudes still managed to have a good time. The Dudes were 6 weeks away from being 3. And potty trained. I was a little more than bummed that they Dudes couldn't go into the kids club. You have to pay extra for the daycare. But, for the few hours of downtime it gave this Mama it was so worth it. Mr. Mayer and I took advantage and went and had a Champagne Brunch in one of the adult only restaurants on board the ship called Remy (you know, like off of Ratatouille). Again, it was FABULOUS.
Each night before our dinner time there was a "show." These were so good. One night they did Aladdin, they had magicians, ventriloquist and a couple of musicals exclusive to the ship. I wasn't sure how the kids would do sitting through a show like that. Again, my kids amaze me. I also learned that Carter REALLY loves musicals. He would get so excited. Their joy was contagious.
Each night aboard the ship there were different themes. One night was formal night and we all got gussied up and had cocktails and Shirley Temples in the vestibule. Another night was pirate night. I put together some pirate outfits for the kids to wear. I had also found some foam swords and eye patches before we left Oklahoma that I packed. The boys were so excited about pirate night. Olivia was mad at me because I wouldn't go buy her the $75 pirate princess dress in the gift shop. She had to wear the boring outfit I packed for her. Good. Grief. However, pirate night was their favorite night I think. There was a show on the top deck complete with fireworks after dinner. It was a late night, but everyone slept really good that night. Our last evening/afternoon on board we got a special VIP invite to a private meet and greet with all the characters. We didn't tell the kids. We told them we had a surprise and then just showed up. The excitement was through the roof. I had never seen happier kids.
We decided to take a cruise because we weren't sure the boys were big enough for Disney World and we had been told that the kids get more access to the characters on a cruise. This is absolutely true. Every time we turned around there was an opportunity to meet a character, take a picture, get an autograph. One afternoon we were walking out of our room and Chip & Dale were walking down our hall. Not another person in sight. The kids went bananas. I didn't even know they knew who Chip & Dale were up until that point.
Because there are 5 of us we had to get the "bigger" room. I thought that the kids would have to share a bed. Nope. Mr. Mayer and I had a comfy queen size bed and each kid had their own little twin size bed. They had beds in the ceiling, the wall and the couch. The bed was high enough we could slide suitcases under the bed out of the way. There was plenty of closet space and drawers for our stuff.
We had a wonderful trip. I cannot wait to have a chance to do it again.


Tuesday, August 13, 2013

The Beginning

So, this happened on Saturday. I'm pretty excited for future mishaps. My feet are equally excited. Mr. Mayer was really sympathetic to my plight.
We have some super romantic text conversations. It's equally as exciting in person. Don't be jealous. 

Saturday, August 3, 2013

That Thing With My Shoes



We made it home!! Vacations are FANTASTIC, but a lot of WORK!! Yikes I'm tired. We all had a great time. We did the pre-boarding thing that Disney offered. We leave our luggage in the hallway and they take it to the airport and check it for us and we pick it up at our final destination. Super easy. Especially when traveling with children. Sounds great, right? We had to have all of our luggage in the hallway last night by 10:30pm. Ugh. We drew the short straw this week and had the late dinner time. We didn't get out of dinner until 10pm each night. I did some packing yesterday afternoon. I had everything ready to go except our dinner clothes and toiletries. MY plan was to come back after dinner and shove our dinner clothes in a suitcase and pack all the toiletries except the absolute necessities for the next morning. You know, toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant. That last one is a MUST! I thought I had it together. I should know though after years of travel with Mr. Mayer his OCD would get the best of him. By 9pm he was getting anxious. By 10pm he was wanting to run to the room. We did make it back to the room. I did not run. We still have 30 minutes after all! Sheesh. Mr. Mayer runs downstairs to pick up our packet of pictures. I go get the kids changed into PJ's and start packing the rest of our crap junk stuff. Mr. Mayer gets back the room. We still have 10 minutes. I am almost done. Mr. Mayer is very OCD crazed frenzied particular insane meticulous about packing. He starts putting everything not nailed down into suitcases. No biggie. I let him go crazy pack and set everything in the hallway. We get everyone into bed and set the alarm for butt crack of dawn. Ugh. That's the worst part about traveling. It always happens so early. The next morning we get up, get dressed, brush teeth, brush hair, etc. We have to be off the boat by 7am. It's 6:45, plenty of time. We start putting on shoes. I get the kids shoes on. Mr. Mayer has his shoes on. Hmmmm, my shoes are missing. They were in the floor by the bed last night. They are not there this morning. *&^&%$$*(()&(%*$%%!!!! My shoes must have been packed. I internally start to panic. Visions of Brittany Spears walking out of a public bathroom start going through my mind. Honey Boo Boo comes to mind. The ultimate embarrassment of having to walk through an airport barefoot goes through my mind. No. No. No. This is not happening. I'm about to die. I call Guest Services and ask if our luggage has been taken already. I then explain why. I think I hear her stifle a laugh. She offers to send me a pair of the spa booties I can wear. YES!! At this point anything. She then says that I can go down to the terminal and look for my suitcases and see if I can find them. Ha! By the time I get my spa shoes it is 7am. The buses are getting ready to leave. I put the spa booties on and prance out. The terminal is a chaotic pit. There is not way I am going to find my suitcases and figure out which one has my shoes and make the bus in time and preserve Mr. Mayer's sanity. For the good of my marriage I wear the spa shoes to the airport. Hoping the whole time I can find a pair of flip flops or something at the airport. Ha! There is apparently a shortage in flip flops. I never found a single one. The spa shoes rubbed blisters on my toes and were a size to small. But--I had shoes. I did not have to go barefoot through parking lots and two airports. Thank. Goodness. Can you imagine?

Sunday, July 14, 2013

So...That Happened.

Flies seem to be really bad this year. I've heard lots of people make comments about how bad the flies are. Personally they gross me out. I can't stand them. It's been a constant battle every spring to get rid of the flies. However, this year it has carried into the summer. There always seems to be one or two in the house at all times lately. However, I have noticed the past few days there has been an infestation in my bathroom. Specifically the little room where the toilet is. I mean, you kill 10 and there are 20 more on the wall. It's been bad. After church today while the kids were eating I had enough. I took the swatter in there and started killing them. I wasn't making any progress. For every one fly I killed there were 10 more in its spot. I was on the verge of going crazy. Mr. Mayer came in and took a turn in killing the flies while I went and laid the kids down for naps. He posted this on Facebook not long ago "Kids are freakin gross. That's all I'm going to say about that." Let me share with you what just happened at my house. I may not recover. I came back downstairs and Mr. Mayer was cracking up.
Mr. Mayer: "I found the source of the flies." 
Me: "Great!" 
Mr. Mayer: "You want to know where they were coming from?" 
Me: "Um....yeah?"
Mr. Mayer: Laughing harder at this point. "There was a shitty pair of underwear shoved into the toilet bowl brush holder. They were congregating in there." 
OMG!!! That is disgusting. I made Mr. Mayer throw the entire toilet bowl brush contraption out. That is the nastiest thing ever!!!! Mr. Mayer is still laughing about this and compared me to one of my former clients. I vacuumed and mopped the bathroom. Clorox wiped the walls off. Then I wasn't satisfied so I mopped the kitchen and entry way as well. And checked the toilet bowl brushes in the other bathrooms. I am currently thinking of blowing up the entire house. I feel disgusting. I feel like my house is disgusting. I may not recover from this experience.
As a side note~I am very certain about who the culprit in this situation is. There is only one kid in this house who still poops his pants and that's Carter. Seriously. The kid has been obsessed with poop since birth. If you've been reading my blogs for any amount of time you know that my kids have some weird fascination with the stuff (re: Poopaggedon, Poopaggedon Part Deuce, Yup, That Just Really Happened just as a few examples). Last week Carter had an explosive poo in my bedroom. On my bed. I thought I was going to vomit on that one. There was also a long phase of where Owen would poop in the bathtub. Every. Single. Time. I'm really glad that's over. Needless to say. I agree whole-heartedly with Mr. Mayer. Kids are gross.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

While The Parent's Are Away...



Two weeks ago Mr. Mayer and I finally made our long awaited anniversary trip. We went to Las Vegas. I wanted a pool, sunshine and somewhere close enough we could get home quick. With everything happening in my life and the kids being so young I thought that would be best. Vegas it was. It was so nice to get away. We had a great time. We went and saw some shows. If anyone ever has an opportunity to see Peepshow go do it! It was such a fun time. I laughed until I cried. We slept in. Did a little shopping. We also went and saw the Neon Museum. That was fantastic. It was full of oldVegas signs and a lot of nostalgia. The man doing our tour knew a lot of history and could tell us fun stories about old Vegas. One night we went to Freemont Street. I love street performers. Freemont Street is crawling with them. They are so fun to watch. We also went and toured the Mob Museum. That was another amazing and interesting place! There was a lot of this...


  We tried to keep the trip very low key and not make to many plans. We ate, drank, laughed and had a really great time. Sonetimes it's easy to get caught up in the day to day of life you forget the people you are outside of kids. It was nice to get away and member that we are really fun people outside of our kids. While Mr. Mayer and I were cooling our feet by the pool KiKi was at home holding the fort down with our precocious little angles. The first day there we get this text from her....
Yeah. We have magnetic locks on the entertainment center. Those little jerks figured out how to unlock them. Doh! I do love technology though. All week we were able to facetime and keep up with what the kids were doing. In fact, the texts just kept coming. Read and enjoy....



And finally....oh yes...this happened. I'm so proud.


Oh those kids....needless to say they had a REALLY good time while we were gone. Akelah handled it like a champ. In fact, she has volunteered to watch the kids for another week next year! So, I'm taking recommendations for next years local :)

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Mama


The past 5 weeks have been a roller-coaster of emotion. My Mom is 76 and needed bypass surgery. The original surgery was postponed for medical reasons to a later date at the last minute. A week later Mom was admitted to the hospital with dangerously high blood pressure. She remained in the hospital for a week and a half and the decision was made to go ahead with her bypass. The date was set. I made plans to drive to Sherman Texas so I could be there with her. I was half way to Sherman the morning of her surgery when Aunt Kathy called. Mom's surgery was supposed to be at 1pm that day. Kathy called at 7:45 and said that she just got a call from the hospital and they moved Mom's surgery up to 8am that day. They were taking her back as we spoke. I was crushed. My Mom was going into major surgery and no one was there with her. I spent the remainder of the drive crying. I make it to Texas. I check in with the front desk and they update me on her progress. An hour later my Dad and Aunt Kathy make it to the hospital where we waited. Uncle Fred came a little while later. The surgery took 5 hours. The surgeon said he was able to only do 3 bypasses and the surgery went very well. We all breathed a collective sigh of relief. We were able to see her a few hours later as she was coming out of her anesthesia. I take my Dad to the hotel we were staying in. The next day we go back to the hospital. Something seemed wrong. Mom wasn't "there." She was very confused and seemed really out of it. We chalked it up to her coming out of the anesthesia and all the medication. She'll get better. The nurses said she didn't sleep. She was refusing to eat. My Mom got progressively worse and slipped into a deep state of confusion and hallucination. She didn't know who we were. She became someone that none of us knew. She didn't sleep for 2 weeks. She barely took 5 bites of food that entire time. It was the most heartbreaking thing I had ever seen. The surgeon kept giving us reassurances that she would get better. However, from where we stood she just kept slipping farther away. Our Mom was not there. During that 2 weeks she had a brief 24 hours where she seemed to get a little better and we were hopeful she would be discharged. It was quickly extinguished. I drove back and forth between Tulsa and Sherman as much as I could to help. It was a long and expensive trip. I was torn because I needed to be at home and I needed to be with my Mom. It was excruciating. After about 2 weeks Mom remained in her deep state and then developed pneumonia. The doctor's didn't leave us with any hope. We were certain we would be burying our Mom. She remained in ICU for another week. It was devastating. I don't think a day passed I didn't cry. Olivia kept asking what was wrong and if her Nana was okay. I didn't know what to say. How to say it. I packed a bag for the kids with "funeral clothes" and a few extra changes so that when it was time to go they would be ready. Then a miracle occurred. I have no other words to describe it other than a miracle. Mom came out of the hallucinations and the confusion. The pneumonia got better. I was there this past weekend and I cried tears of joy when I walked into that hospital room. She was sitting up in bed and feeding herself. Not only had she not eaten in weeks. When we could convince her to eat or drink we were feeding her and holding her cups for her. After 19 days in ICU my Mom was back and  transported to a skilled nursing facility an hour away in my hometown. I cried, still cry, tears of joy. I haven't been able to go see her this week but there isn't a moment that goes by I'm not thinking about her. Aunt Kathy and my cousin Misty are there with her. Helping her. Cheering her on. Yesterday I talked to Aunt Kathy. My Mom took a few steps on her own. She's getting stronger everyday. We haven't told Mom that we thought she wouldn't make it. We haven't told her how bad it got. If she asks we will. Otherwise we aren't going to volunteer any information. I have often said that my relationship with my Mom is complicated. It is. Probably always will be. But, she is my Mom. The only one I have ever known. My love for her is great. And, I am beyond happy to see her doing so well. It truly is nothing short of a miracle and an example of what prayer can do. 


Thursday, June 6, 2013

36 Hours

Captain Morgan and his brother
In the past 36 hours lots of exciting things have been happening at my little insane asylum. I have been potty training the Dudes for a few weeks now. They were doing great at the pee thing. I could not convince them to poop in the potty. I bribed them with everything I could think of. I even promised them I would buy them rocket ships like the Little Einsteins. Ugh...nothing was working. Until yesterday. Owen all of a sudden decided he would go poop in the potty. He hasn't pooped in his underwear once since then. HALLELUJAH!!!!! WHOO HOO!!! He thinks he's a pretty big deal. Me too. I guess I owe him a rocket ship. I'm hoping that peer pressure will get to Carter and he'll catch up pretty soon. Cross your fingers!
Also in the past 36 hours both Dudes have decided they like to take showers. What the What?! Up until last night you would think we were pouring acid over their bodies the way they reacted to showers. Last night their sister got in the shower and both decided they wanted to get in with her. Then all day today they talked about how they were going to take a shower again. Tonight they were so excited to get in the shower. OH MY GOODNESS!!!! Do you know how easy and fast it is to give two little boys a shower.
Keeping with the strange and amazing, tonight for dinner Olivia requested...brace yourselves....meatloaf, CARROTS, and brussels sprouts. Now the meatloaf and brussels sprouts didn't shock me so much. It's weird for a 6 year old, but those are some of her most favorite foods. The carrots are what killed me. The child declared 3 years ago she HATED carrots and refused to touch one since then. A week ago she ate one and liked it. Tonight she is requesting them for dinner.
I don't know what is happening around this place, but I like it. I have been a little absent from the blogging world the past few weeks. My mother had a triple bypass last week and things went very badly after that. In the past 36 hours she has made amazing progress and doing very well. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. Also, this week we had our annual elections for my Tulsa Mother's of Multiples group. I was elected President. Yikes! I have no idea what I'm doing.
The way the last 36 hours has gone I may win the lottery or something. Can you imagine?! Now, I need to go buy a rocket ship for a big boy....

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Gymnastics Yo



Nice picture huh? Getting 3 kids to look at me and pose at the same time is impossible. This was the best I could get. They were trying to show me their ribbons. There were people waiting and I took about 8 pictures to get this gem of a picture.
Diva has been doing gymnastics for about a year and half now. She LOVES it. Over the course of her gymnastics career the Dudes have been sitting in a little windowed room watching her. Every once and a while they would sneak through the door and try to join the class. My plan was to sign them up the second they turn 3. The facility we go to has a Mommy and Me class for kids under 3. Problem being there is one Mommy and two Me's. Doesn't really work out.
One of Diva's instructor's, Miss Bailey, has watched the Dudes and their friend Fynn whose sisters do gymnastics with Diva. She has seen them sneak into class and how active they are. Three weeks ago Miss Bailey let the 3 boys do a trial class. Fynn's birthday is the day before the Dudes. They are all a little more than 2 1/2. I wasn't sure how the class was going to go. They were so excited to get out and "bounce." The class went amazingly well. I was surprised. Carter only threw one temper tantrum. Last week was even better. Then today was the best it has been. The Dudes love it.
Today the kids all got to do a little "show" and show off the skills they have learned. At the end of the hour all the kids got ribbons and a chance to stand on the podium. It was a VERY. BIG. DEAL.
They had to have a picture with Miss Bailey

Monday, May 20, 2013

Potty Training Twins Is Not For The Weak

It's been a looonnnnnggggg week of potty training. I was hopeful, and honestly they are doing better than Olivia was at this point in the game. I reached a point this afternoon when I was telling myself that diapers were easier.
I am confident enough to say that Owen is 90% trained. Most of the time he will come and tell me when he has to potty and then go potty. He has even woken up dry every morning except this morning. At nap time I tried to put a diaper on him but he takes it off. But, he stays dry during nap time. Over the course of the week we have managed to get 1 poop in the potty. Today he pooped his pants 3 times. Grrr....I'm taking it much harder than I should.
Carter on the other hand is a whole other story. He pees in the potty about half the time if that much. To say I'm frustrated is an understatement. He did really great the first few days of potty training. He would tell me when he needed to go potty and didn't have any accidents. Then it all fell apart. I'm not sure what happened or where it went all wrong. But, it did. He may pee in the potty once or twice a day. The rest of the time he will pee his pants maybe 5 minutes after he gets off the potty. And he has yet to get a single poop in the potty. Not to be outdone by his brother he pooped his pants 3 times today as well.
I want to scream. Candy does not work with these kids. They could really care less. They get a little excited about putting stickers on their charts. They could also care less about getting their underwear dirty. I'm not sure what to do. I don't know if I need to start from square one with Carter or if I should just start putting him on the potty every 20-30 minutes during the day. I have a general idea of when they go poo so tomorrow morning I'm going to stay right by their sides and try to catch a poo in the potty. Cross your fingers!
There is a bright spot in this whole process...we have taken several outings and they have not had a single accident. In fact at gymnastics last week Owen yelled at me from the floor that he had to go potty. So I ran down and took him potty. I told him how proud I was. Today I went to the gym with them for the first time. I decided to do two classes. I went and took them potty (neither one went) in between my classes. Neither one of them had an accident the whole time we were gone. I was super proud of them, and told them so. Of course, the drag to this is that when we are in public we have to go potty 30 times. It's exhausting. I'll be glad to get through that phase of potty training. I think Mr. Mayer will too.
I did not handle today well. I was cranky and yelly and frustrated. I know that they are doing well for their age. I need to relax and not get so wound up about it. I need to find the key for Carter that will make it click. I don't understand how he could do so well for those few days and now do so badly. That and the poop thing. Ugh...I really just want one to go in the potty!! Gah!

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Day 3...

Today was day 3 of the 3 day potty boot camp. I'm not sure what I was expecting. I have felt very frustrated this evening with the Dudes. But, as I sit here typing and looking at their little potty charts for the day I feel silly that I was so frustrated this evening. They did great. I'm crazy to think they would be 100% accident free at 32 months old and 3 days in big boy underwear.
This morning started off great. The Dudes got up and we trotted them off to the bathroom. Owen went pee pee immediately. Carter did not. They had breakfast and we went upstairs. It was a full hour until Carter told me he had to go to the potty. But then he went. All morning I would tell the Dudes to "Tell Mommy when you have to go potty." And they would. There weren't as many false alarms this morning. When they said they had to potty they went potty. Mid morning Owen got really still and said he had to go poop. We ran to the bathroom. He sat down on the potty and went poop. A little bit later he tells me that he has to poop again. We trot off to the bathroom. Unfortunately he had already gone in his pants. I clean him up and remind him to tell me before he goes. Owen pooped in the potty 3 more times today. I'm not sure he was actually finishing his business and that's why we had so many trips. The only accident the Dudes had this morning was Owen's little poop incident. At nap time I put them in diapers. Partly because Carter's bed does not currently have a mattress protector on it and I didn't want to ruin the mattress. When I went to wake them up to go pick up Olivia from school Owen had unfastened his diaper. It was still on him, just not fastened. Both boys were dry. We went potty before we left the house and both boys went~a lot! We came home and my neighbor, H, came over to watch the boys so I could take Olivia for her ultrasound.
I won't lie. I was super nervous about leaving the boys this afternoon. I went over our routine and showed H where the extra underwear were. As we were getting ready to leave Carter got real still. I tried to catch him, but I was to late. He pooped in his pants. I sat him on the potty and told him poopy goes in the potty. He says "Okay Mommy."
While Olivia and I are gone I text H to check on her. She says all is going well. Whew! We come home after about 2 hours. Owen had pooped his pants. Again. I swear that kid was full of it today. Carter had peed his pants and peed on the potty. Win and Lose. I had to take Olivia to dance so I had the Dudes go potty before we left. Owen went. Carter didn't. Then peed his pants as we were walking out the door. Grrr....I change him and we take Olivia to dance. On the way home I hear "Uh Oh!" Carter peed his pants~again! We go in, change and play a while. Owen goes potty. Then pees in his pants. I decide to give them a bath. About 5 minutes after we get out of the bath Carter pees his pants. OMG!! Mr. Mayer and Olivia make it home with dinner. Through the course of the rest of the evening no one pees their pants. We manage to go potty a few times and it was finally bed time. I was ready for bed time tonight.
Reflecting back I can't count today as a failure. In fact, I think they are doing remarkably well. It took me years to get Olivia to use the potty and she still pees her pants. In fact she was about to get in the bath tonight and took her pants off. She had peed her pants. I asked why and she just shrugged her shoulders and said "I don't know." That's frustrating.
My conundrum is returning to real life. Ugh...we do great at home when it's just me and the Dudes. What happens when we let real life in and have to run errands and get busy? Yikes! We can't sit upstairs and hide forever. I'm working on letting go of some of my need to control the situation. It's as much potty training me as them. I will get in the habit of taking extra clothes with me when we go out. That is not a habit I'm currently in. I barely remember to take diapers with me.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Day 2....


 
Day 2 was not without some frustration. We started the morning off strong. Owen peed in the potty first thing this morning. Carter waited over an hour and then pooped in his underwear. However, sometime this morning Carter got it. He started peeing in the potty. There were even times he would tell me he had to potty and we would go in and he would sit down and pee. He had three accidents all day after he pooped in his pants. Proud Mama over here! Owen had a lot more accidents today. It frustrated me because he did so good yesterday that today it just kinda went down the drain. I think he turned it into a game and I'm not real sure what to do about that. He would say about every 30 seconds he had to potty. We would go to the potty and nothing. He would sit there and giggle, laugh and wiggle around on the potty. Then he would get up and go play. A minute later he was back on the potty. Ugh....it was exhausting. And majorly frustrating for me. He only peed in his pants a few times though. It was usually right after we had sat on the potty. He would sit on the potty and grunt a few times and I was sure he was going to go poo, but no such luck today. In fact he didn't poo all day. I'm hoping for good things tomorrow!
Now, this morning was going great. It fell apart around lunch time and I take full responsibility for that. I got over confident. The guys had been doing so good. It was lunch time so I had the Dudes go potty. Then I told them to holler at me downstairs if they had to go potty again. Any other time they have no issues hollering at me down the stairs. It's almost a contest to see who can yell the loudest. I came downstairs and made lunch. Went and got the Dudes and they had both peed their pants. D'oh!! Serious. They had just peed before I came downstairs. I change them and we sit to eat. Owen and I got to the potty once during lunch. We get up from the table and Owen had peed his pants~again. Dang it. I make them go potty again and it's nap time.
Yesterday I had both wear diapers for nap time. They both woke up bone dry after nap time. Today for an experiment I let them wear their underwear for nap time. Owen woke up bone dry and then peed in the potty after nap time. Carter was soaked. I think he had gotten up and walked to the door and peed because there was a huge puddle in front of their bedroom door. #fail.
So, despite my frustration with Owen's shenanigans I'm not counting today as a failure. There wasn't even once that I wanted to quit. In fact I think they are doing fantastic. I'm hoping for a lot fewer accidents tomorrow. Although I have to have a babysitter tomorrow afternoon. I'm a little anxious about that. And, what happens after tomorrow and we have to go on with real life? The past two days we have lived in undies and t-shirts. They haven't even worn shoes half the time when we go outside. On Thursday do I put clothes on them and go about real life and just take them to the potty every so often? How do I go out in public with them? I have a lot of anxiety about this in case you can't tell. Things are just easier at home, but I know we can't stay at home forever. We like to play at the park and go to Target from time to time. Is that going to be possible?! Yikes!
Another fun game the Dudes played today was switching undies. They would be in the bathroom and one would say "Trade Brudder" and the other one would say "Okay" and they would switch undies. Gross. I tried to get them to stop because I thought it was icky. They weren't getting that. And as much as I tried to keep the undies straight, I'm confident there were a couple of times they managed to switch. I'm going to remind them of that at their High School graduation.
And, finally, let me just say....I have always thought that little boy's underwear was adorable. And these little tushies in undies are super adorable.


Monday, May 13, 2013

Day 1

I bit the bullet and started potty training. The Dudes finished preschool last week and don't start their summer camp until June so I thought this was as good a time as any. That and I was getting tired of them taking their diapers off telling me they were yucky. Ugh. Hunting dirty diapers is not very much fun.
I decided I would do the 3 day boot camp I had heard so much about. However, we are still using diapers/pull ups at night~for now. Unfortunately my life isn't one where I can be completely at home. I still have to pick up Olivia from school and her various activities. Other than picking her up today we didn't have to leave the house for anything else which was nice. However, dealing with her this afternoon was frustrating. There were some jealousy issues. I tried to explain that her brother's need my attention right now, but she wasn't buying it. It was a frustrating afternoon. I'm hoping some sleep does everyone good.
So this morning I put some "big boy underwear" on the Dudes. They were very impressed with the "choo choo's" on their drawers. I filled them with juice and pretzels. They thought it was great that I was letting them have juice and snacks. It was a treat. I only have my experience with Olivia to fall back on with the potty training thing. Training her was a hot mess. I'm still traumatized by it. In addition to a horrible potty training experience she has a bladder the size of a flea. I was fully expecting the Dudes to have to pee about 5 minutes after their first drink this morning. It was a full hour and 15 minutes before anything happened. That threw me for a loop! We sat on the potty this morning and got off the potty and immediately peed our pants. Awesome. I was convinced that was how my entire day was going to go. However at some point this morning I caught Owen mid-accident and ran him to the potty. After that he started telling me when he had to go. Wow!! And a couple of times he started to pee in his pants and stopped himself and ran to the bathroom to finish. I was super impressed with his progress. It was much better than I had anticipated. Then there's Carter. That child. He would pee his pants and then tell me. All. Day. Long. There was even one point I had gone into their bedroom for 30 seconds and he pooped in the floor. Then came into the bedroom to tell me that he "make a mess." I told him about every .05 seconds to tell me when he needed to pee in the potty and ask if his underwear were dry. It was like talking to a wall. That kid. I wouldn't even know when he would pee his pants until he would say "Uh oh, I wet." Grrr....Tonight after Mr. Mayer got home he caught Carter mid-accident and ran him to the potty where Carter put a couple of drops in the potty. We cheered and let him put a sticker on his chart like he had filled the potty. I'm hoping that it will click with him soon.
All in all I think it was a good first day. I only wanted to quit about a dozen times. I'm nervous about the rest of the week. I have to have a babysitter Wednesday afternoon so I can take Olivia to a doctor's appointment. Thursday all 3 of them have gymnastics. Olivia has already had a complete freak out because she thought she was going to have to miss gymnastics because of her brother's. Sigh....I re-read the 3 day boot camp ebook I have for reassurance. It said a lot of the time that kids don't get it until the end of the 3rd day. I'm hoping that the Dudes have another great day tomorrow. I'm only mildly convinced at this point in the game that I will never get to leave my house again. Or that I will be forever chained to the potty. I know that isn't true, but there are times it still feels like that.

Monday, May 6, 2013

Gym Etiquette?



I have been a gym rat for a while now....I have years of research on the subject of gym etiquette. The main thing I have learned is that I am doing it all wrong. 
Appearance
I have come to realize that what you look like at the gym is very important. 
Drawers: I'm still a little confused on whether you wear underwear or not with your workout gear. I used to think that it was mandatory to wear gigantic granny panties while you worked out. However, since I have joined my new gym I have realized that going commando is the thing to do. There is no way anyone is wearing gigantic granny panties with the spandex shorty shorts I'm seeing around that place. On men and women. And men....don't waste time on putting on bike shorts under your very loose and shiny athletic shorts. It's way cuter when you are free ballin'. It's really great if you can adjust yourself every .05 seconds. Women really love that. 
Outfit: The outfit is super important. Shirts and pants are supposed to match. Oh...and the sports bra must coordinate and supply adequate lift. Spandex is preferred but if unavailable really tight cotton will do. Your outfit can make or break your gym experience. If you do not match and look super cute then it's a wasted trip. There was a woman in the gym today in a great outfit. She had on black spandex shorty shorts and a hot pink Victoria's Secret tank top and coordinating black sports bra. The tank top was very clever. In the front it looked like a normal shirt. However, when she turns around the back is scooped out all the way to her lower back. It was so low that the straps of the shirt couldn't stay up on her shoulders. She was able to push them up every time she moved. Super cute. 
Shoes: Your shoes must be equally as cute as your outfit. It helps if they are brightly colored and you have coordinating knee high socks. This is a very cute look. To really cinch the look you should have contrasting shoe laces. 
Makeup: You must wear a full face of makeup at all times when working out at the gym. Regardless of whether you are there at 5am or 9pm, your make up must be in pristine condition. Try not to work out to hard so you don't smudge it. You don't want to melt your mascara and have raccoon eyes. That's not a cute look. 
Behavior
How you behave in a fitness class is super important. It's how you earn your gym rep' and cute nicknames. Well, that's how I assign it. 
The Moaner: It's really great if you can moan, groan and hiss while exerting energy. It's even better if you can manage to spit a little when you hiss. Everyone really loves a spitter. 
Grunting: If you are going to add in something new to your gym routine I recommend grunting. It is the thing to do. You let out a very loud deep grunt every time you lift a weight, stand up/sit down on a spin bike, run on a treadmill/elliptical, use the rowing machine or walk across the floor. Grunting shows that you are really working hard and makes everyone around you super jealous. 
The Animal: Barking, howling and whining like an injured animal are all appropriate sounds to make during a fitness class. 
Woo Woo: Everyone loves a woo woo girl. They are always the life of the party. They are really at their peak at 5:30am. They always have so much energy and can really project their voices over the instructors music. 
OCD: It is perfectly normal and not strange at all for you to completely cover your spin bike, elliptical, treadmill or other fitness device in towels. Even better when you can cover the entire floor surrounding said device in towels. 
Gossip: Who doesn't love to hear some good gossip?! Especially when you are three rows behind me. I love keeping up. A few weeks ago I was in spin class and was able to hear the following:
Woman: I went to Senior Prom with him. I ran into him a few weeks ago at a football game. His wife's real cute so I guess he's doing well. 
Butterfly: I have recently noticed a new species at the gym. Sometimes they are alone but sometimes they travel in packs. They flutter around the gym and stand by different pieces of equipment. The really fascinating thing is that they never have to actually use the equipment. They can get a full workout just by standing next to it and talking to their friend. It's amazing. I need to figure out how to do that. 
Cell Phones: You can get a killer work out while you talk on your cell phone and walk on the treadmill at the same time. You don't even have to take a shower afterwards because for some reason you don't sweat that much. The radiation from the cell phone must absorb it or something like that. Don't worry about talking to loud. Everyone in the gym really likes hearing about your date last night. 
Locker Room Etiquette
It is the social norm to stand completely nude in the middle of the locker room and catch up with your friends. Preferably near the entrance/exit so everyone can try to walk around you. That's not weird or uncomfortable at all. It really adds flair if you swing your towel over your shoulder. 
Food and Drink
Drink: Now, the old thing to do was bring a bottle of water to drink while you were at the gym. Then it progressed to sports drinks and the occasional energy drink. Now the really cool thing to do is drink coffee. How cool do you look on the spin bike sipping your travel mug of coffee? Not to mention everyone else in spin class gets to smell it and be super jealous.
Food: If your gym time happens to fall during one of your normal meal or snack times it's okay to eat while working out. Zero's out the calories. It's even better if you can eat something really loud and crunchy. It's not obnoxious at all. 

Folks....this is just the tip of the iceberg on gym etiquette. Like I said, I have years of research compiled. 





Tuesday, April 23, 2013

So, Good News Is I Didn't Pee Myself...

Seriously, this is exciting news. I have had 3 kids. I have had 3 gigantic kids. Two of those giants were vaginal deliveries. #3 decided to be spontaneous and insist on a C-section. Yeah, that was fun. So, the exciting result of 3 kids that NO ONE EVER TALKS ABOUT?! You pee yourself. It's true. I leaked a little after I had Diva. After twins? I pee myself. What causes it? Laughing, coughing (bronchitis is a death sentence), sneezing, jumping, running, hop scotch, jump rope and any other jarring activity. It's embarrassing. And, before anyone says "Oh, just do kegel's. It will stop that." I've been doing kegel's since 2007. It's not helping. I still pee. 
So, what happened that I didn't pee myself? I would LOVE to tell you. I went to Body Pump before dawn this morning. Half way during class the instructor had us do a move that was terrifying and caused me to panic a little. Well, a lot. A whole lot. She expected the class to jump on and off of our step boards we had been using. Like some sort of jumping jack on crack. OH-EM-GEE....this is going to be bad. I'm NEVER going to be able to show my face at the gym again. I didn't want to seem wussy though and not do, or at least look like I am doing what the rest of the class is. So, I closed my eyes and jumped. Not even a dribble. Wha?! Let me jump again just to make sure. Yup, still nothing. Whoo Hoo!! I was a jumping fool in class this morning. I did all 5 million reps and didn't pee myself once. WINNING!! I didn't even feel like I was going to. I felt a little triumphant this morning. And, I can still show my face at the gym. 
I wanted to find a clever picture to put on this post. However, when you google cartoon character peeing, woman needing to pee, pee, and cartoon pee pictures you get a bunch of porn. I probably have a virus on my computer now. I didn't realize that pee was such a porny thing. But it is. 

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

You Win Some, You Lose Some...

I have had a streak lately of making dinners that my kids L-O-V-E. I plan on leftovers and they eat it all for dinner. I knew my good luck was going to run out soon. I'm not used to the happy plate club. Well, my luck ran out tonight. I made a Curry Chicken Salad that I found at 100 Days of Real Food. My kids LOVE chicken salad. Olivia requests it on a regular basis. And meatloaf. Seriously. What kind of kid requests chicken salad and meatloaf as her two favorite foods? I saw a different recipe for chicken salad and thought it sounded like a yummy alternative to the normal one I make. And better yet, it was somewhat healthy. I had some chopped turkey in the freezer I pulled out instead of chicken. Same difference right? Also, I added raisins and some apple to the salad thinking that would be yummy in it. The first thing I discovered tonight is that my kids no longer like raisins. I'm not sure when that happened. Pretty sure they were eating them a few days ago. I'm really excited about their repulsion to raisins since I have to gonzo sized bags in the pantry. Then all three announced that dinner was "yucky." I roasted some asparagus to go with the chicken salad and crackers. The kids have been eating asparagus like crazy. Well, tonight they did not like asparagus anymore either. They basically ate crackers for dinner tonight. With forks. Carter was militant about getting his fork in a cracker. Which made a huge crumbly mess. Thinking about it, I'm not real sure they did eat any crackers. I think they were all crumbled up on the placemat.
Those faces are not loving dinner tonight. What about me? I'm not crazy about chicken salad to begin with. So, as far as chicken salad goes, I thought it was alright. Mr. Mayer ate some when he came home and liked it. I liked that it was healthy. I'll have to think of something else crummy to fix for dinner tomorrow so I can get back to the normal dinner dance. I can't handle them liking what I make! I'm not worried about my kids going hungry. Despite them thinking I'm not a very good cook they never seem to go without!
And just for your entertainment....
Olivia strutted off to school in this frock this morning. She has white footless tights and pink Converse tennis shoes with it. She thought she was hot stuff. The skirt is too big and fell down all day. It was a cute look.

Thursday, April 4, 2013

It's Not Wednesday, But This Is What She Wore

I guess you can say 'What She Wore Thursday.' It was just to good not to share!
She tried to get away with just wearing the shirt and tights....um, no. No. Just no. Not the look I want my 6 year old to have! I told her to put on a skirt, pants, dress, something. This is what she came up with.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Chairs

Monday, as I was taking off my seat covers in the kitchen to wash~again....the thought hit me. Why don't I just recover the seats in something that can be wiped off? My current method of washing my seat covers almost daily and using my little green machine to clean the chairs on a regular basis was exhausting. So...thinking that I am a GENIUS I load the Dudes up and we go to the fabric store. I was tempted by all the fun patterns and colors, but opted for a dark "coffee" color in a faux leather. I bring the fabric home and it sits on my counter for 2 days. Why? Because, I have no earthly idea how to recover a chair. None. Nada. Zilch. So, me recovering all 6 of my kitchen chairs is a GENIUS idea. Right? This morning was another rainy, cold, miserable day. The Dudes were playing and happy this morning so I thought it was as good a time as any to recover some chairs. I consult the all knowing and wise Google on what I should do. Luckily you type in "How to recover a chair" and you are bombarded with a million sites telling you what to do. Whew! Thank you Google! So, I gather my supplies. Mr. Mayer's drill, his staple gun, some screw drivers and my scissors. I start with the first chair. There are 7 screws on each chair that I have to unscrew to get the seat off. They are at a weird angle and there are wood bars in between each leg complicating matters. My drill doesn't exactly fit easily into the spaces. Grrr....it takes me 30 minutes to unscrew the first chair. This is going to take all day. I cut my fabric and freak out. Should I take the existing cushions off? Cover over them? Oh no!! What do I do?! I call Betsy. She's good at this stuff. She doesn't answer. Ugh. I text her and tell her that I really need her to answer her phone because I was elbow deep in a project. She doesn't respond. She's probably working or something lame. I decide to just cover over the existing cushions. Then the corners! Oh no! What do I do about corners?!?! I find some websites with some suggestions. All of them say that pleats are normal. If you don't have pleats you aren't doing it right. Then Betsy calls me. Figures. I told her I had carried on without her. She reassures me that it's easy and I can do it. I.  Hope. So. Oh, she also says corners are hard. Great. I'm figuring this out. It takes me an hour and two things of staples to get the first seat covered. I start on the second seat. These screws are even harder to get unscrewed. Somehow...not real sure how, but I break the drill bit. Yup. Broke it clean off. Doh!!! Mr. Mayer is going to kill me! How on earth do you break a drill bit?! How is that possible?!
My initial reaction it so text Mr. Mayer and say whoopsie. But, I don't. Instead I load the Dudes up and we race down to the hardware store. I drag the Dudes down the aisles until I find what I am looking for. I find the appropriate drill bits and buy 2. You know, just in case. Hahahaha....Mr. Mayer doesn't know this. Let's see if he reads my blog! We come home and I resume my project. By the 3rd chair I am getting my rhythm down. Corners are still a little tricky, but improving. However~the screws are still a B*t%c#. Ugh....Unscrewing and screwing back in are troublesome. By the 3rd seat I have a breakthrough. Duh! Just use some longer screws. Hello! GENIUS! Now....this is the point I learn something about Mr. Mayer. My husband is a screw hoarder. Insert dirty jokes here. I have a million going through my mind right now. I went to the garage in search of longer screws and found an entire drawer of screws. I bet he had 50+ boxes of screws in various sizes. Including the size I needed for my chairs! That's a good thing. I really didn't want to drag the Dudes back to the hardware store. Great. Now I have longer screws. Chairs 4&5 went much quicker. I was still having a heck of a time getting the screws out. Grrr...I was starting to get really frustrated. It was on the 6th chair that I had another epiphany. Duh, get a shorter drill bit. There was one on the little replacement kit I bought this morning. I go back out to the garage and get the shorter bit. Hallelujah!!! The shorter bit works. The screws come out in no time!! Whoo!!! My 6th chair takes a fraction of the time the first 5 have taken. Not only can I get my drill in and unscrew the screws in no time, but I have a handle on the corners. Sheesh...if only I had that clarity on the first chair. Needless to say, it took me 7 hours to recover 6 kitchen chairs. But, I did it. I feel accomplished. And, I think they look pretty good. Best part about the kitchen chairs though, they can be wiped off. I mean seriously. I have 3 kids. My chairs get gross. Being able to wipe them off is going to be worth all the calamity I went through today. Now that I know how to do it Mr. Mayer better watch out. I may get a wild hair to start recovering a lot more in the house! My dining room chairs look a little drab :)

Monday, April 1, 2013

I've Completely Lost My Sense of Humor...

And it's only noon. Can I have a do-over on today?
*We have mice. They are outside on the patio right now. But, since my children leave the door open all the time I'm expecting them to invade inside pretty soon. Mice completely freak me out. They are on my list with roaches. I'm not deathly afraid of them like snakes, but I don't like them and they creep me out. We have them. Mr. Mayer thinks I am being completely unreasonable about the situation. He thinks I should man up and kill them when I see them. I don't think he should be so mean about the situation. A little understanding about my dislike would go a long way. I mean, I kill spiders for him.
*My garage door is not working today. I discovered this at 5am. It's been an ongoing guessing game for a few months now. Some days it works. Some days it doesn't. At least it picked a fair weather day to not work. It's usually raining.
*About 5 minutes after Mr. Mayer and Diva left this morning I fell all the way down my second level of stairs and landed in a heap in the entryway. Luckily I was carrying two laundry baskets with me so I had laundry strung out everywhere. Owen and Carter were just staring at me.
*During my fall I broke a toe. I have never broken a bone in my life. This is a first. It's swollen and purple and hurts like the devil. Carter gave me kisses to make it feel better. It worked a little. My first thought when I realized my toe was broken was "How am I going to get my spin shoes on?!" That's normal, right?

*I had to pee. As I am sitting on the toilet Owen comes into the bathroom with his diaper around his knees saying "Buckle diaper Mommy!" in his whiniest voice possible. I reach down and start to fix his diaper only to realize I had just grabbed a handful of poop. Yup, he had a poopy diaper around his knees. And he had walked from upstairs. Oh-Em-Gee....
* I start cleaning Owen up. Carter comes into the room. Completely naked. He says "Where my diaper go Mommy?" What the hell is going on today?! I asked him if he diaper was poopy and he responds with his best "I don't know." Great. I get Owen cleaned up and Carter diapered and go on a scavenger hunt. Thank goodness the diaper wasn't even wet!! Whoo Hoo!! Score one for Mommy!
*The Dudes and I went and ran some errands. We picked up lunch and came home. The garage door isn't working so we unloaded and walked up to the front door. My hands were full with what we bought, lunch and drinks so the Dudes refused to open the storm door for me. Thanks guys! After I managed to get the door open I punched in the code for the front door. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. &*^%$^*(*!!! Crap. Just to make sure I do it a couple more times. Still nothing. We unload everything and traipse to the backyard. That back door opened! Whew! I was really close to losing my cool by that point.
*The Dudes wanted to eat lunch outside. So we did. And I sat there paranoid a mouse was going to run across my feet or something any second.
On the bright side I am about to go lay the Dudes down for a nap. Hopefully they will sleep today. Or, at least play quietly in their room? Maybe.

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Spring Break 2013~ For You Shannon

As I have mentioned a couple of times Spring Break 2013 was last week. We went with our good friends the McCurdy's to Angel Fire, NM again. It's a yearly thing. My mother in law has a house there and we try to go pretty often. Going at Spring Break with the McCurdy's is a tradition. We always have a fantastic time with them. We took a different approach to going this year. We met with the McCurdy's in OKC on Saturday and stayed the night in a hotel. Kristen and I went to a Bon Jovi concert (Amazing!!). It's ridiculous how much I love that man.

The kids all thought it was exciting to stay in a hotel. The next morning we got up early and began out trek to New Mexico. That is a really long drive. We stopped in Amarillo and saw my Grandpa, Uncle and cousins. We meet at a McDonald's with a play place so that the caged animals, sorry, children, can run and play and hopefully take a nap. That last part never happens :/ We made it to Angel Fire around 7 I think. We grabbed some pizza and settled into the house. The next day we hung out around the house and played. I decided to get a head cold which was amazing. I love it when that happens. Thank goodness for cold medicine. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday we sent the big kids to ski school. Olivia was so excited. Corbin was miffed he wasn't going to snow boarding school. The best part about ski school~ they were worn out afterwards! In addition to ski school we sent the small guys to a daycare they had on the mountain for those three days. They were really excited to "make new friends." They got to play in the snow on the mountain and had a fantastic time. Again, the best thing? They were worn out. I haven't skied in about 10 years. I'm not sure I remember how. Olivia owned the mountain. I had no idea she would be such a good skier. She was a rock star. Kristen and I realized we won't be able to do ski school for the whole trip next year. Mr. Mayer is a really good skier. He can take the kids! Then we realized that Mr. Mayer probably won't be okay with that. Kristen and I will take a day of ski school to refresh us on skiing next year and then go ski with the kids. It's going to be pretty embarrassing when they out ski us. But, at least we can get some really cute pants. Priorities people!! There wasn't a ton of snow this year and the weather was actually pretty warm. In addition to my head cold that I loving shared with Brian. Mr. Mayer got altitude sickness. That's a lot of fun. Then Brian got altitude sickness. That was even more fun. The first day we were there Carter stopped a fall on the pavement~with is face. He looked like he had been in a bar fight. I bet we made a great first impression at the daycare. It was a rough time for us. All in all though we had a great time. We left Friday and began our trek home. The drive home always seems like it takes longer. We all arrived in Tulsa close to 10 that night. We were exhausted. We unloaded and went to bed. The McCurdy's were staying the weekend with us. Why? Because Kristen and Mr. Mayer are nutso. The ran the Race for the Well 10K Saturday evening. See? Nutso. The weather was pretty craptastic for it as well. Akelah came over and watched O&C because I had lovingly shared my head cold with them too. Brian and I took the big kids to see The Croods. Which by the way is a super stinkin' cute movie. Olivia and I were a little emotional through parts of it. Brian looked at me and said "You know he's going to be okay." I responded with "No, I don't. They killed the dad in Lion King!" See. Disney can be cruel. Afterwards we met the mentally ill runners for pancakes. Sunday I had to get up and go to Norman with my friend Amy. We ended Spring Break week with a fantastic snoozefest Ethics training. Ugh. Glad that's done for the year. All in all despite illness (because Mr. Mayer and I can't take a trip without illness) and long drives we all had a great spring break and are looking forward to next year.