Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Potty Mouth

You would think I would be referring to myself or Mr. Mayer. But, no. I'm talking about the precocious little girl that lives in this house.
"I cleaned my room damn good."
Wait. What? That was the sentence Diva told me a few weeks ago when I asked her if she had cleaned her room. I was in shock. Mr. Mayer was stifling a laugh. Diva was dead serious.
A few days after that she came downstairs and told me to "Tell those damn boys to leave my damn toys alone." Apparently her brother's were messing with her Barbies.
We have also had the occasional "damn it" when she drops something or spills something. It was super embarrassing when we were at Target and she dropped a toy in the toy department and said "damn it." Thankfully there was no one around to hear her.
Diva's um...creative (?) vocabulary started as soon as she started speaking. She has always used big words, whether she knew what they meant or not. Mr. Mayer and I are totally to blame for the "damn" breaking. I can honestly say my mouth has cleaned up since I stopped working 2 years ago. But, it's still not great. Mr. Mayer and I have discussed his favorite word. I am so thankful Diva has never said anything starting with an F...yet. Diva never said the words often. When she was younger she would say "damn" or "shit" and I think there was a "son of a bitch" once. It was so infrequent and I knew she was hearing Mr. Mayer and I say these things that I would tell her when she did say those words that she could only say them if she used them appropriately. For a while it worked. She was using them so inappropriately at the time it was funny and I didn't think I had to worry about her learning appropriate timing for any of those words any time soon. That's biting me in the rear. I have had to change my tune. Now we tell Diva that those words are grown up words and that she is not to say them. At the same time Mr. Mayer and I realize that we need to clean up our acts. If she is saying these things at home, I can only imagine what she is saying at school. OMG! What is she teaching the other kids? My apologies to everyone now. We know there is a problem, we are dealing with it.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Confessions of a Selfish Mommy



Let me preface this post by saying that I am currently dying from the plague suffering diseased contracted  have a cold and drinking a hot toddy with whiskey in it. Who knows what I'll say. But seriously....let's talk. The Dudes need to be potty trained. I wasn't planning to do it until high school. I was secretly hoping they would just do it themselves. That I would wake up one morning and it would be done. That's not happening. Ugh....great. But, it's going to have to be done. They keep coming and telling me when they need a new diaper and whether they went pee or poop. They are even telling their teachers at Mother's Day Out. In all seriousness I think I have PTSD from potty training Diva. That was a horrible experience. Completely my fault. I tried to force her a week after she turned 2 to using a potty. She wasn't ready and 3 years later she was still peeing in her pants. At least she got the pooping thing quickly. My mother had convinced me that all I needed to do was put a pair of panties on her and she would magically start using the potty. It didn't work that way. She still sleeps in a pull up. That's a whole other blog post I'll have to share sometime. I have vowed that this time around would be different. I wouldn't even consider it until I thought they were ready. Then if they didn't get it after a few days I would stop and try again a few months later. That's a good plan. Right?
So what is so selfish about potty training your kids? I'm worried about when I will get to shower. Lame. I know. As things currently go the Dudes cannot open door knobs. I can shut their door and I know that they will be safe in there until I let them out. They are happy to hang out and play in the mornings. I like to go to the gym early in the morning (Honestly I haven't gone in almost 2 weeks. Jeff~I know that physical activity will help me, but seriously. When you feel like shit the last thing you want to do is get up at 5:15AM and go work out).  5:15AM isn't my favorite time of day. But, Dudes have doctor's appts, play dates, groceries need to be bought, houses need to be cleaned and laundry needs to be done. My list can keep going. I have tried to go mid morning, but it is inconsistent and just doesn't fit in. I feel like I am being selfish and that other things are put to the side. So, early mornings work for me. After the gym I come home and get Diva up and ready for school. When her and Mr. Mayer leave for work and school I eat breakfast, drink some coffee and take a shower. After I am showered and ready for the day I go release the hounds, er, um, boys, from their room, usually between 8 and 8:30. Then we go about our day.
I am worried about when I can shower and drink my coffee. Once the Dudes start potty training I will have to let them out of their room when they wake up in the morning so they can go potty. It's going to turn my morning upside down. Best I can figure is I may be able to take a quick bird bath before Mr. Mayer leaves in the morning and take a shower at night. Shower at nap time? Oh wait. They haven't been napping! Ha! That won't work. I guess I could just let them run amok and take a shower any way. Set them up for failure and just make them stay in their room? There is no way I could do that. I would feel terrible every time they had an accident. I realize as I type this how selfish and dumb it is. But, this is my brain.
Potty training will happen. I will sort out my shower issue. Maybe I will just forgo showers. They are time consuming anyway. I have heard a lot about the 3 Day Method. My friend Blair over at www.lifeofamamarazzi.com did it with her boys. I text her this afternoon to ask a few questions. She emailed me an ebook on it that another friend had shared with her. She's a fan of the method and thinks I need to do it ASAP. We are going to be doing some traveling over the next couple of months. I don't think it's a good time to try and potty train. Is it? I mean we will be in a car for 3 and 4 hours at a time. I am thinking that maybe sometime in January would be a good time to do it. We will be done with traveling. That will give me some time to read the book as well. I don't know. They may just do it themselves. It could happen. Right?

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

What She Wore Wednesday

Happy Wednesday! I'm just going to give you a minute to take this in...

She thought she was hot stuff this morning. She even insisted that I take a picture and send to her Aunt Betsy this morning. She was sure Aunt Betsy would LOVE her outfit.
Shirt: Wal Mart
Shorts: Target
Tights: Target (a gift from Aunt Betsy. I think she is rethinking that gift now).
She left the house wearing purple and grey Nikes and a bright pink jacket with lime green lining. She was quiet a vision. I can only imagine what her teacher thinks of all these crazy outfits.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

My Halloween Post

Whew! Nov. 4th isn't to late to talk about Halloween, is it? Whatever. The title of my blog is not an accident. Last week was rough y'all. No joke. But, my little trick or treaters were adorable and I have to share.
See? Adorable. Diva was obviously Belle. Her most favorite of all princesses. She started talking about being Belle last year on Halloween.  The Dudes aren't really old enough to have an opinion about what their costume was. I had a hard time finding a costume that I felt they could wear to Mother's Day Out and for Halloween. I chose doctor's. I found some tiny little scrubs and some tiny little lab coats. I then took the tiny little scrubs and tiny little lab coats and had McDreamy and McSteamy embroidered on them. Cheese ball I know. But, I did it. And it was cute.

We almost missed Halloween. I was so sad that my little people might miss out on trick or treating. We have had a long run of really good health. That was until last week. It started last Sunday when Carter had a fever and didn't feel good.
I ended up taking him to the doctor on Monday. Since our RSV experience I don't wait to go to the doctor for as long. Lesson learned. The verdict was a virus. Nothing we could do but ride it out. Tuesday the school calls and says that Diva has a fever and isn't feeling good. I go pick her up. She puts on PJ's in the middle of the day. For anyone that knows my precocious little girl, they know that she is dressed and ready for her day the second she wakes up in the morning. The fact that she was laying around in the floor in pajamas speaks volumes for how rotten she was feeling.
I drag her to the doctor. I was fairly confident she had strep throat. She had it last year. This was much the same. I just needed a doctor to confirm and give us some meds. The nurse looked in her throat and immediately says "Eww." The strep test confirmed that she had strep throat. We start antibiotics. Wednesday morning (Halloween day) arrives. Owen wakes up with a fever. FML. I know that he has the same virus that Carter has. I checked his throat and it was not puss-y (really, there is no good way to spell that word and it not look like something naughty). I start medicating him. As long as he has medicine he acts and feels just fine. When his fever comes up he is mildly subdued. Nothing like his brother. I was so sad that my 3 little ones weren't feeling good. This was the first year that the Dudes were going to trick or treat. That afternoon when everyone got up from nap I assessed the situation. Owen was the only one with a fever. Very low grade. Diva was pestering me saying "The doctor said I could go trick or treating!" and Carter. Well, Carter is Carter. He's just happy to be here. He had no fever and was acting like his old self. I made the decision that we would dress up and hit a few houses around our house. Let me tell you. Owen and Carter took to trick or treating like they had done it a 1000 times. Carter even figured out that after the people gave him candy if he hugged them they gave him more candy. The kid doesn't even like sweets. He just liked having a full bucket. He wouldn't let me empty his bucket to make it lighter.
So....there are probably those that don't agree with me letting Owen trick or treat. Maybe it's selfish. I just couldn't bear for him to miss out on it. Especially when his brother and sister were going to get to go. He's not old enough to understand why he couldn't go.
Since Halloween Owen has continued to have a fever. I bit the bullet and made my 3rd trip to the doctor on Friday. We saw our regular doctor on Friday (we saw his co-worker the other two times). I had him look at Diva while we were there because her throat was still puss-y looking. I didn't think it should. He ended up changing her antibiotics. The throat looks much better. Now she has a terrible cough, congestion and general crappy feeling. Owen had a virus. Same as Carter. I thought on Saturday that dang fever had finally broken. Everyone was happy and didn't appear to be sick. We went and did family pictures. Came home. Took a nap. Owen woke up with that pesky fever and feeling rotten. Again I say-FML. However, this morning he woke up fever free AND remained that way all day. Other than him knocking my Scentsy burner off on top of his head and cutting the crap out of his head, ear and foot, he is doing great. Heads and ears bleed so much! OMG.
I am hoping that this next week is much better. That everyone feels better. No fevers. No trips to the doctor. Just the normal everyday shenanigans. Diva is a wild card at the moment. She's already gotten up once with her cough. I'm hoping she can get some rest tonight. I am wanting some normalcy this next week.