Monday, December 13, 2010

Not My Daughter!

I blogged about a month ago how Diva had been throwing temper tantrums and getting in trouble at school. Well, a few days after that blog post Diva comes home. We are in the living room playing. She is being oddly good. Meaning, no temper tantrums, she hadn't back talked and was being very helpful. Weird. Well, about an hour after she had been home I finally got around to looking at the daily sheet her teacher sends home everyday. I'm reading about what she had for lunch and what art project they did. I make it to the end of the page and it says that my sweet little Diva SLAPPED HER TEACHER IN THE FACE! I am furious. I asked Diva about this and she said "Yes...I wanted to be the first outside and she was making us get in a line." WHAT?! I am on the verge of murdering this child. I have never been so angry at her in my life. In lieu of killing her I send her to her room. I was afraid if I did anything other than that I might hurt her. By this point Mr. Hubs comes out of his office to see what the issue is. I tell him and he is just as angry as me. This is not our child. She does not behave that way. The past few weeks have been a cumulation of horrible behavior. I was struck by the thought that daycare would call us when she threw a temper tantrum but when she slaps her teacher they don't do anything more than write it on her paper. Mr. Hubs and I discuss what appropriate action to take with Diva. We can't just let her slide by thinking this is okay. It is so far from okay. And, slapping?  We don't slap at our house. I don't know that I or Mr. Hubs have ever been slapped. Diva gets a spanking maybe twice a year. We debated on spanking her. I felt that the moment for spanking had passed and that I was to angry to do it. We had taken her dress up clothes away for the temper tantrum. What to do? What to do? We finally decided after a stern reprimand and threats that if she ever did that again we would kill her she had to call her Aunt B and Nana and tell them about her offense. That crushed her. She did not want to tell her two most favorite people in the world what she had done. Of course we warned Aunt B and Nana before Diva had spoken to them about what had happened and they needed to make it clear that behavior was not okay. For the rest of the evening until dinner Diva had to sit in her room by herself and at dinner Mr. Hubs did not let Diva talk. Not one word. Then it was off to take a shower and straight to bed without having a book read. It was complete torture for the child. I think it might have been more effective than any other punishment we could of done. The next morning there was more discussion about making good choices and we would kill her if she ever did that again. Diva promised that she would never do something like that again and she would be a "good girl." Mr. Hubs made Diva apologize to her teacher when they got to school that morning. It's been about a month now since that happened. I'm still in shock that my child would do something like that. But, to her credit she has been a really great kid since then. She has even stopped peeing in her pants so much. We still have accidents and still have to remind her daily to pee in the potty, but it is much improved over what it was.
I've been asked a lot since I had Shrek and Donkey if there have been problems with Diva or how does Diva feel about her brothers. My response has always been the same. Diva adores her brothers. She is always so excited to see them and always wants to hug and kiss on them. However, at school she has had a lot of behavior problems. Behaviors that are completely out of character for her. It has really thrown Mr. Hubs and I for a loop. It has been such a concern that we have questioned her about school and if everything is okay there and has something happened to her that is not okay. The forensic interviewer in me has really come out. She is insistent that everything is fine. The only other conclusion that I have come to is her brother's. That is the only change in her world. Mr. Hubs and I have been making an extra effort to do special things with Diva and to spend some special one on one time. Sometimes it's been hard to fit it in but we decided it was important to do this. I especially have been making an effort to do things with her just her and I without her brothers. It's easy to get caught up in the day to day routine of life and taking care of new babies. Since we have been making the extra effort and taking time to spend with Diva and laid down the law and let her know that her behavior was not okay under any circumstances....life has gone much smoother. She has been a much better behaved girl and things have been happier around our house. We still have to be pretty forceful with the rules and not let her have a lot of leeway. We start to see the sassiness and temper tantrums flair up when we let her have to much wiggle room. But, in general, the Mayer house has been a much happier house since then, I'm just sorry her teacher had to get slapped for us to get here.

1 comment:

  1. When I was in 5th or 6th grade I was mad at my parents for who knows what and I told them I wanted to run away. They told me to pack a bag and my dad drove me all the way to the downtown YMCA and told me to get out. I started crying and begged to take me home. I NEVER said I wanted to leave again.

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