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Showing posts from February, 2012

Poopaggedon....Part Whatever....It Happened Again!

I think I just threw up a little. As I have previously stated here and here I don't like poop.
These precious little shit bomb angels had a bath tonight. Mr. Mayer was cleaning the kitchen up after dinner and the Diva and I were doing the bath. They were washed and just playing in the tub. I step out and grab the humidifier and step back in and fill it up. I step back in (literally it's only 5 steps, maybe) and Carter is taking a bite of something. First glance I think it's a bath toy. I step a little closer and he holds it out to me. I instinctively hold my hand out. Carter places a turd in my hand. HE JUST TOOK A BITE OF A TURD!!!!! I think I just threw up a little more typing this. Now. I'm not certain of the culprit. I'm assuming the poo-er is Owen. He went a little just before he got in the bath. I guess he wasn't finished. Either way...I start shrieking. Mr. Mayer comes in and laughs at me. He calmly suggest that maybe it wasn't a turd. I direct him t…

The Michael Jackson Experience...

Wow! I'm behind on this blogging thing. Life keeps happening!
Mr. Mayer, Aunt Betsy and I took Diva to see Cirque De Soleil Michael Jackson The Immortal last Saturday. I bought the tickets a year ago. Literally a year ago. I knew Diva would LOVE the show.
I didn't tell Diva until a few days before that we were going. She was very excited. We went and had dinner beforehand. When we arrived at the BOK Center Aunt Bets, Diva and I got in line for the bathroom. Diva was dancing around and squatting trying not to pee her pants. We had made our way pretty close to the front of the line with Diva dancing all the way. A woman walked by us on the way out of the bathroom. Aunt Bets and I saw her before Diva. We just gave each other an oh shit look. She was a little person. We could only imagine what Diva was going to have to say about this. Diva stopped mid dance and says (in her most quiet Diva voice) "Mom!! She was short but she looked like a grown up! Was she a grown up or kid?!…

Ahhh...

I have a confession to make. This parent thing. I'm totally winging it. I don't have a plan, manual, outline. Nothing. I wake up to a new world everyday. Thank goodness I have Google! Though that is how I diagnosed Diva with liver failure and a few other maladies. Whoops.
I know this information is completely shocking. Especially for someone slightly neurotic such as myself. I find it even more amazing that I am a parent to 3 screeching, smelly, drooling, back talking, darling little creatures since I started out my adult life never going to have children. I was going to travel the world and have exciting adventures. Ha! Now my excitement is peeling the Dudes off whatever they have climbed on and finding out what color Diva got at school today.
However....I am fine with my inexperience and lack of a game plan. I still have panic attacks when I worry that I may be completely screwing them up. But, for the most part they seem alright and pretty well adjusted.

What brings me to t…

Boobies R Us

Yup. That's right. I'm in big trouble with this girl child of mine. A few months back Diva announced to her Daddy and I that "all the boys like it when I shake my arm pits." Whuck?! She says this as she's demonstrating a shoulder shimmy. I quickly explained to her that at her age the boys should not like anything about her and that she should not concern herself with what the boys like.
Oh-em-gee. I knew having a girl I would probably have to deal with some boy (or girl) craziness at some point. I just wasn't prepared for it to hit in Pre-K. Yikes! Diva jumped on the Justin Bieber band wagon a few months ago and declared him her boyfriend. She's convinced that last year when she was a flower girl in a wedding that her and the ring bearer were actually married. Poor Hampton. He doesn't have a clue he's married.  She's already making big plans for when they are grown up. Apparently they are going to live in their own house. Not with me. They are…

What If?

I think "what ifs" are an inevitable part of life.
I had big plans to blog about Diva's 5th birthday party, my brother or about my new "niece" Scarlett that was born last night. I'm sure I will get to those soon. But....
I'm tired. Maybe a little grumpy. And I received a letter in the mail today that has me festering. It's not an unusual letter. I get a few of them during the course of the year. Each and every time I get this letter it's like a punch in the gut. Old wounds are open. I think the intention of the letter is to be comforting. It never is. It takes me right back to June 2, 1990 each and every time.
I am part of an exclusive circle I never wanted to join. My letter is from the Victim's Services Office in Texas. My biological father, Kevin, was beat to death when I was 9. I get notified every time the man who committed the crime comes up for parole. I have to write a victim impact statement to the board and tell them my reasons for…

What She Wore Wednesday

Happy Wednesday folks....this is what a 5 year old looks like in our house.
Coat: Birthday gift
Shirt: Gap Kids
Jeggings: Gap Kids
Shoes: Sketchers from Aunt Betsy
Hair bow: gift (she fixed her own hair this morning and was VERY proud of it).

If you have a What She Wore Wednesday link up with this blog and Martha over at 50stickyfingers.blogspot.com 

Weird

So….last night was a weird night. Strange things were happening when I was trying to sleep.
I am an extremely sound sleeper. I have always been worried I wouldn't wake up if the kids needed me, but I have always seemed to manage. Usually. It takes a lot for me to wake up during the night. This is also the reason I sleep through my 5:15 am alarm to go to the gym. I currently have a 5:15 alarm and a 5:25 alarm set. I still sleep through both of them.
Mr. Mayer talks in his sleep. I have known this since the beginning. And, it's not a whisper or a mumble. He yells. I will never forget the very first time he did it. He started yelling about the clowns and chickens. I thought he was talking to me at first and I was super confused. Very bizarre. I said something to him the next day and he had no recall of that happening. Another time he woke me up "flying" airplanes with his hands and talking about landing them. Again. No memory of this happening.
Olivia is an extremely s…

Brotherly Love

The guys are usually typically happy in the mornings. I use this time to encourage independent play and get some stuff I want to done~aka: Facebook, blog, laundry, email...etc.
This morning is no different. Except the TV broke. That's another story. It's going to be a long, quiet day. I probably have it on too much anyway.
Okay. Back to task. The Dudes were playing and I hear a commotion to my right. I look over and see this.
Awww...they love each other. This never happens. They are usually fighting, biting and screaming at each other. That's why I wasn't surprised when seconds later I got this.
I have noticed lately that they are starting to play with each other a little bit. Not much. But, progress is progress I suppose. No fear. They are back to the biting, fighting and screaming as I type.

Doorknobs and Death Wishes

Holy Smokes! I have my hands full with these guys. One of my favorite blogger's, Mama and the Dudes, talked tonight about her wild morning with her almost 2 year old guys. It sounded familiar. It made me feel better to know that I am not alone in this twin adventure.
The Dudes have started climbing. On everything they can get their chubby little legs on. It's no big deal to walk in and see Carter on top of the entertainment center or cabinet. Last week he climbed onto the kitchen cabinet and got a box of Clementines I had up there and strolled through the living room carrying the box in one hand and eating a Clementine like an apple with the other hand saying "Yum" in his most serious voice.

I have cleaned out drawers and cabinets and rearranged the entire living room. We have most cabinets locked up. But no fear Owen knows how to open the cabinets. *Sigh* He hasn't shown his brother how and he doesn't do it very often thank goodness! I started to get confide…