Monday, July 18, 2011


The dudes have not been sleeping. At all. They scream and cry their way through nap time. If they do doze off they are up within an hour. At night they have been waking up every couple of hours crying. This has gone on for a week. I'm going crazy. I don't know what the problem is.
Last night they went to sleep and slept all night. Or, if they woke up they didn't let me know about it. I was very excited this morning. I heard them, well, Shrek, chit chatting around 7:15 this morning so I make their bottles and go in.
As I am walking down the hall I am greeted by the strong smell of poo. Not unusual as both boys are both typically poopy first thing in the morning. It was usual that I could smell it in the hallway.
Now~ before I go any further let me preface this next part by saying I hate poop. I would rather clean up vomit than poop. Mr. Mayer and I make a good pair because he would rather clean up vomit. It works for us.
The players:
The offender

The cheerleader
Mr. Mayer had come home just before I went in to get the dudes up.
*It's been blazing hot here so I have been dressing Shrek and Donkey in just t-shirts to go to sleep. I used to dress them in onsies but the t-shirts were just easy and I have an abundance of them. *
I open the door and true to tradition both boys are standing up in their cribs grinning at me. The smell is pretty strong. It's dark in the room so I walk over to open the curtains. As soon as I open the curtains I see the carnage that is in Shrek's crib.
OMG!!! &*%$#@! everywhere!
Shrek is grinning at me with his pacifier in his mouth~covered in poop. The pacifier, his face, his t-shirt, sheets, railing...everywhere.
Donkey is standing in his crib laughing, big belly laughs.
I freak...I start yelling for Mr. Mayer. I find him and tell him I need some help. Mr. Mayer walks in and starts laughing (Mr. Mayer will probably put a different spin on this in his blog).
No more t-shirts for Shrek.
I grab Shrek and start cleaning him up. It smells bad. It's everywhere. Mr. Mayer starts cleaning the crib. Diva wanders in to see what's going.
Kiki (niece, babysitter, entertainment, baby wrestler, etc.) is staying with us this week. She wakes up and wanders in and starts laughing as well. She takes Donkey into the other room and gives him a bottle.
I clean the poop out of Shrek's mouth. Confiscate his pacifier. Strip him. I try to just give him a sponge bath, but instead he ended up getting a full fledged bubble bath before it was all said and done.
Pacifiers are boiled. Well.
Mr. Mayer strips his bed. Not only did the top sheet and mattress pad have to be stripped but the second layer of sheet had to be stripped as well. He wiped off the crib. I get some cleaner and a rag and clean the crib off to disinfect it from the poop.
I am completely grossed out from all this poop. Mr. Mayer and Kiki are still laughing. Shrek is in a very good mood and shrieking.
I feel like I need a shower.
Lesson from this experience~ always put baby in a onsie.


  1. oh sorry. pretty much one of my worst nightmares. hasn't happened yet. i'm pretty much doomed, right?! i mean, i couldn't get thru this motherhood thing without this happening, could i?! if i can...i'd be okay with it. =/

  2. OH dear. I should have sent you the memo. Always pants/shorts or a onesie. It only takes once to learn, though. lol

  3. I don't know how I escaped with Diva never doing this. The thought never crossed my mind with Shrek and Donkey. They are very different creatures!