Skip to main content

An Incident With A Mouse




Yup. True story. That's how my afternoon went. I'm sure I have the Bubonic Plague or Rabies or something else horrific. I watch the Discovery Channel. The Today Show did a show last week saying that diseases from the past are on the uptick.
I don't like mice, rats, or any other small furry creature that is mouse looking. They creep me out. They are on my short list with snakes and roaches. I get a little panicky just thinking about them. You can imagine how calm cool and collected I was this afternoon. Mr. Mayer wasn't taking me seriously. Now, since then, I have sat in this house completely paranoid that there are mice inside somewhere. I feel my heart rate increasing as I type this.
In addition to the Mouse Incident there was ANOTHER EFFING POOPCAPADE!!!!! Grrrrr....I have expressed my disdain for poo and anything poo related. However, I keep getting stuck cleaning the stuff up. I was super distracted by the impeding mouse invasion. The Dudes had been pulling charcoal out of the grill for over a week. I keep putting it back in, scolding, and repeat. I covered the grill after I murdered a mouse and the Dudes moved on to the chiminea. They had been pulling lava rocks out of it. I was hunting mice. Carter was off playing with his rocks. Owen was "mowing" the grass. Then Carter walks over, holds out his hand and says "Ewww...." I glance. Dirt. Wait. Second glance. WTF?!?!?! It was not dirt. It was poo all over his hand. His feet. His legs. His arms. His MOUTH! I threw up a little. Where did poo come from? I scooped the backyard. I clean him up and send him on his way. Yeah. I'm super brilliant. A little bit later I look over at him sitting at his table (we are outside~thank goodness!) and he is on his knees. There is something on his foot. Poo. Ugh. Then I notice he is still playing with his rocks. Those are funny looking ro.......OH CRAP! Literally. It was crap. He was playing with crap. Then I look at Owen. Owen was still mowing. With rocks in his hand. They weren't rocks. He was holding poo as well. I mean seriously. I grab my antibacterial wipes and start scrubbing the boys. I might add at this point that the Dudes thought this whole process was hysterical! I scrub the Dudes, find the poo source. Scowl at the dogs. Not only did they not help at all with the mouse situation, but they keep pooing after I scoop. Sheesh. Worthless lap dogs :)
My neighbor's were outside this afternoon. I can only imagine what they were thinking today. I'm just giving them more evidence that I'm crazy.
Mr. Mayer finally made it home. An hour after I text him. I don't think he realizes what is going to happen if indeed a mouse does get into my house. He's poked around the backyard. Said he didn't find any evidence of mice other than the aforementioned deceased mouse. I think he was just humoring me.

Comments

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, how funny... and I feel your pain. When I was 8 and a half mo prego (eons ago... we did not have cell phones, just pagers aka beepers), I experienced an incident similar, except that mouse WAS in my house flopping around live in mousetrap. I guess I thought the tiny repulsive creature was capeable of eating me and my unborn child. And so I "beeped" my hubby. Of course he rushed home expecting to drive me to the hospital, but instead he saved his damsels in distress from death by mortification!! And we lived happily ever after ...LOL ;))

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh gosh! I would have died. I'm still paranoid one will be in the house.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Nana Karen's Red Sauce and Meatballs~ Oh My!

When I am in the mood for comfort food my mind immediately goes to Spaghetti and Meatballs. It has been my favorite for as long as I can remember. My version of the dish consists of jarred sauce and ground beef or frozen meatballs because I didn't know how to make meatballs. Enter Nana Karen. When I was pregnant with Shrek and Donkey there wasn't much I could do the further along I got. Nana Karen would come over about once a week and make dinner and help me with whatever. She was a God send. It was an enormous help. One of the things she would make was Spaghetti and Meatballs. Wow! She made homemade sauce and from scratch meatballs. Every time I eat this dish I am in heaven. Nana Karen is an old school cook. She doesn't measure anything and makes everything from memory. A few weeks ago she found a pasta maker that her and I have been playing with and making homemade pasta. If you have never had homemade pasta it is divine!  She came over today to make some pasta. While s

Potty Mouth

You would think I would be referring to myself or Mr. Mayer. But, no. I'm talking about the precocious little girl that lives in this house. "I cleaned my room damn good." Wait. What? That was the sentence Diva told me a few weeks ago when I asked her if she had cleaned her room. I was in shock. Mr. Mayer was stifling a laugh. Diva was dead serious. A few days after that she came downstairs and told me to "Tell those damn boys to leave my damn toys alone." Apparently her brother's were messing with her Barbies. We have also had the occasional "damn it" when she drops something or spills something. It was super embarrassing when we were at Target and she dropped a toy in the toy department and said "damn it." Thankfully there was no one around to hear her. Diva's um...creative (?) vocabulary started as soon as she started speaking. She has always used big words, whether she knew what they meant or not. Mr. Mayer and I are totally

So, Good News Is I Didn't Pee Myself...

Seriously, this is exciting news. I have had 3 kids. I have had 3 gigantic kids. Two of those giants were vaginal deliveries. #3 decided to be spontaneous and insist on a C-section. Yeah, that was fun. So, the exciting result of 3 kids that NO ONE EVER TALKS ABOUT?! You pee yourself. It's true. I leaked a little after I had Diva. After twins? I pee myself. What causes it? Laughing, coughing (bronchitis is a death sentence) , sneezing, jumping, running, hop scotch, jump rope and any other jarring activity. It's embarrassing. And, before anyone says "Oh, just do kegel's. It will stop that." I've been doing kegel's since 2007. It's not helping. I still pee.  So, what happened that I didn't pee myself? I would LOVE to tell you. I went to Body Pump before dawn this morning. Half way during class the instructor had us do a move that was terrifying and caused me to panic a little. Well, a lot. A whole lot. She expected the class to jump on and off of o