Kicking and Screaming

Friday was an interesting day. I was scrambling around the house trying to get bags packed for everyone. I was going out of town for a birthday shopping trip in Dallas. Mr. Hubs was taking all 3 of the kids to his mother's house on Saturday. I was trying to get things packed, cleaned up and put away and in order for Mr. Hubs. In the midst of my chaos I had a phone call from Diva's school. That is never a good sign. My first thought was that she was sick because that is the only time they ever call. In my mind I am rearranging the weekend and preparing myself for a sick little girl. I had missed the phone call so I was calling the school back preparing myself for the worst. When someone answers I identify myself expecting to be told that Diva is sick and I need to come get her. Only, when I identified myself the girl goes "hold on" and before I know it I am talking to Diva's teacher. Hmmm...this isn't good. Ms. Teacher starts telling me that Diva has thrown a temper tantrum to end all temper tantrums. She didn't want to turn the light on in the bathroom this morning. When Ms. Teacher did so Diva started kicking and hitting the wall with a step stool, screaming and throwing herself in the floor. Ms. Teacher goes on to tell me that Diva has thrown fits every day this week and she was having a difficult time with her. Ms. Teacher puts Diva on the phone to talk to me and I begin to reprimand her. "I'm sorry Mommy. Will you come get me? I want to go home." Normally I would go get her and/or just let her stay home with me. However, due to the reasons for the phone call I felt like I would be rewarding her if I went and got her. I told her so much over the phone and made her apologize to Ms. Teacher for acting like a brat. After I got off the phone with Diva and Ms. Teacher I called Mr. Hubs and shared the information with him. Needless to say both of us were very angry with Diva. We have been having some behavior problems at home with Diva. She was potty trained and in June she decided she was no longer going to go to the potty, her pants worked just fine. It has been an ongoing battle. We have tried scolding her, taking away privileges, ignoring the problem, etc. We are at a loss. Our most recent approach to the issue is to ignore it and make her change herself when she has an accident. We give her tons of praise when she doesn't have an accident. Our thinking has been that she has had a lot of changes and this is her way of dealing with her new brothers. In addition to no longer going to the potty Diva has had a major attitude lately. It started out with just me. She was sassy and would back talk me and tell me that she "didn't have to do what you say." Yeah....it's amazing she has lived this long. It has gradually increased to her Daddy over the past months. When she doesn't get her way she throws herself in the floor, kicking and screaming. She throws things. One night she was angry and threw a book at me. We didn't read a book before bed that night. On one occasion she was upset with her Daddy because he told her to do something she stomped upstairs and slammed her bedroom door. I don't know what to think of all this attitude from her. And now we have her school calling us because of her temper tantrums. Now, Diva has always been very dramatic and cries at the drop of a hat. She has always been a very well behaved child though. Again, I keep telling myself that she is 3 and exerting her independence and testing the waters. She is also trying to adjust to new brothers and all the changes in her life. She has no other way to deal with it. Easier said than done! There are days I want to choke her she makes me so mad. There is only so much back talk and attitude I can take from her. Friday after "the call" I called Mr. Hubs to share with him. We decided that in addition to letting her know we were very upset with her she was going to lose all her dress up clothes and would have to earn them back with good behavior. We explained this to her on Friday when she came home. She didn't even bat an eye and just said "okay." She's still trying to ear her crayons back from when she wrote all over the kitchen tile with them. This morning when Mr. Hubs took her to school he made her apologize to her friends and Ms. Teacher for "being a brat." I'm at a loss. I don't know if we are taking the correct approach with Diva, but I know that I do not want to have a bratty child that thinks she can throw temper tantrums to get her way. You always hear about the "Terrible 2's" but let me just say that 3 has been way worse for us than 2 ever was. I am hoping that 4 is a much better age for all of us--if she lives that long!