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My Little Crossed Eyed Cutie

Today was the day...the day that Donkey had to go see the Ophthalmologist. It all started about a month ago when at their 4-month check up Doctor says "Have we talked about his eyes?" While he was holding Donkey. So, Donkey's eyes looked a little crossed. And, occasionally they crossed and it looked like he couldn't uncross them. Mr. Hubs and I just teased him and said it gave him character. So by the time we left the doctor's office that fateful day we had a referral letter and directions to take Donkey to see someone. I made the appointment and took in both boys this morning. I was hoping that since I was already there Dr. Eyes could just glance at Shrek as well.
To kick the morning off Shrek spit up on me, all over, as I was putting him in his car seat. Usually I would just wipe it off and carry on with my business. Gross, I know, but that's my reality. Not this morning. I was soaked. Great, now I had to change.  So, after my wardrobe change I finally get babies in car seats, in the car, diaper bag and purse in tow. Corral the dogs in the utility room and managed to get the alarm set. Whew! This may seem like a simple task, but on my very best day it takes me 15 minutes to get done. I was hoping to be out the door by 8:15 this morning. I turned my car on at 8:30. Crap. I'm going to be late, again. And I forgot my coffee....
We arrive at the place I begin the unloading process. Again, this is at least a 10 minute process. After I manage to wrestle with the land train I call my stroller I have to put both boys in it, get the diaper bag, make sure I don't lock my keys in the car, and have my wallet somewhere in this chaos so I can pay the copay. I'm convinced every time I go through this routine there are people lining the windows laughing at me. I'm sure it's a funny sight to see. After I get everything and everyone loaded there is the issue of getting in the door. Most doors aren't stroller friendly, never mind land train friendly. It takes some maneuvering to push a stroller, open a door and get the stroller through the door without injury. Again, I'm convinced there are people watching and laughing. Hell, I probably would.
So, we have arrived. I do the necessary paperwork. Say a silent prayer that the boys will be quiet and that if they do throw a fit that they do it one at a time so I can manage it somewhat gracefully. We are whisked to the exam room. I'm asked a battery of questions. Donkey is looked over. Shrek is glanced at. The nurse (I assume she's a nurse doing all this. I really have no idea who she is.) puts drops in Donkey's eyes to dilate them. Poor guy. Not only is he cross eyed, now he can't see anything either. We are left alone to dilate. Dr. Eyes comes in and asks me the same questions the nurse asked. I really hope she was a nurse :/ Then he starts looking Donkey over. Flashes some lights, stares in his eyes and announces:
"I don't think he's cross eyed. He just has an extra large nasal bridge. It gives the illusion of being cross eyed." Great, he's not cross eyed, he just has a really big nose. Whew! What a relief! Dr. Eyes looks at Shrek and comes to the same conclusion. Big nose. Now, it's probably not the most nurturing motherly thing, but I called Mr. Hubs as we were leaving to tell him the great news and both of us had a good laugh. Mainly because the nose thing is something we have joked about since Diva was born. In her ultra sound the first thing you saw was her nose. Same thing with Shrek and Donkey. The first thing you saw in the ultrasound was two squashy noses. I laugh because I have the same extra large squashy nose. It's a design flaw. Mr. Hubs has teased me for years about my huge nose. When I'm pregnant it tends to take over my face. Now, my children have the same extra large squashy nose, that apparently gives the illusion that they are cross eyed.

Mommy and Donkey


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