Skip to main content

I'm Not Above Bribery


That's right. I'm sure I'm not the only parent who feels that way. I'll use bribery. I'm not scared. For example~ Mr. Mayer and I are water people. I have been swimming for as long as I can remember. I remember being around 3 and living in Texas and my Mom put me in swim lessons. I thought it was so fun to swim to the bottom of the pool and pick up rings. I want my kids to be comfortable in the water. We have a boat. We go to the lake a lot. They need to be able to swim. 
By the time Diva was 6 months old she was in her first swim class. She loved water. All things about water. The following 2 summers were the same. She was in swim lessons as soon as there was an opening. Again. Loved the water. She did great. Then twins happened. I feel that Diva has gotten the short end of the stick. I did not have the energy for swim lessons. We did not go to the lake much. We were not water people that summer. I had the best laid plans to get her back in swim lessons the following summer. That was before I knew what twins entailed. I was in no shape mentally to do anything last summer. Mr. Mayer and I were just trying to survive. This summer I was determined. I was determined that Diva would stop being put on the back burner because I was overwhelmed. I was determined that we would start doing some fun things. I would stop making excuses and start living life. I enrolled her in swim lessons. The first lessons she has had in 2 years. Yikes! I was confident she would rock it. BAHAHAHAHA!!!! I'm an idiot.
Not only did she not rock. She cried the first 3 days. Then the owner had to get on the diving board and push her in the water. Oh-em-gee....this is not happening. I did not understand what was going on with her. She has always loved the water. Why in the world was she acting like she would melt? Sheesh. I talked to her instructor (who was insanely awesome). She assured me it was normal behavior and that "we" would work through it. Ugh. I hope. I know that she can be a little stubborn and dramatic. I know. I know. Shocking. It's true. So. I used bribery. She desperately wanted the new Justin "Veiver" CD because he's so "good." Um. Yeah, whatever. I had ammo. I told Diva that if she could pull her shit, er, um, stuff together and stop crying and acting like a baby that I would buy her the CD and she wouldn't even have to use her allowance (that's a WHOLE other blog post). We had a deal. She was super stoked about that prospect. The next day she was her normal super confident self. She was jumping in the deep end. Going off the diving board and putting her head under the water. Whuck?! Where did this come from. Just yesterday she was a hysterical mess. After class I was complimenting her and telling her how awesome she was. Her teacher looked at me and said "She really wants that CD." Diva had told her about our deal. Hmmmm....please don't think I'm a bad Mom. That same day Aunt Betsy sent me a text with a picture of an OSU t-shirt and asked if Diva would wear that. I asked Diva who gave an emphatic yes. I told Aunt Betsy. Aunt Betsy made a deal with Diva. If she would get it together and do great in her swim class she would give her that shirt. Diva was so excited. I'm glad someone can buy her clothes because she hates anything I buy her. Clothing her has been difficult. Oh, sorry. Getting off track.
So....no crying at swim lessons and jumping in the water will get her a new CD AND a "Go Pokes" t-shirt. That kid was a rock star. She started doing big jumps and swimming under water. I'm fairly convinced she was acting those first few days. Today was her last lesson. They give out little completion cards. It would either say "Completed" or "Participated." Me being the awesome Mom that I am was fully prepared for a "Participated." I had already enrolled Diva in the another 2 week swim class in a few weeks. I was fully prepared for her to have to repeat her current level. So, you can imagine my surprise when she was given this card after class....
Yup, that's right. She advances to the next level. One proud Mama over here! Whew! Guess what we stopped and bought after swim lessons today?

Lesson learned from this experience? Bribery works. Every time. I'm not ashamed. I'll do it again.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Adulting is Hard

It's no secret that being an adult is hard. Being a parent is really hard, especially with the bombardment of social media and other outlets. Everyone has an opinion of what you should or should not be doing, saying, eating, etc. It's exhausting when you have average "normal" by society standards children. Throw in a little boy who is viewed as a little different and things get 10x harder.

A few weeks ago my favorite musician, P!nk, accepted the Video Vanguard Award at the MTV Video Music awards. Her speech that evening struck a cord with me. At the time I could not place my finger on why it affected me so much, but this morning something happened, and I understood.

I have made no secret that #3 is different than other kids. He is loving, affectionate, empathetic, and will stand up for anyone he thinks has been wronged. He loves Minecraft, his laser guns, Five Nights at Freddy's, and the color blue. He also loves Queen Elsa, having his fingernails painted and we…

7 Year Itch...

Things are changing y'all.... About six weeks ago I applied for a part time therapist job, on a whim. A month went by and I had not heard anything about the job, I assumed it wasn't going to happen and carried on with life. Then I got a phone call asking me to come in for an interview! Over the course of the month between applying for the job and the interview I had talked myself out of wanting to do it. Cause, that's what I do. I went into the interview thinking it would just be good practice and I had zero intentions of pursuing the position.  Last year I applied for a job I really wanted. It was somewhere I had always wanted to work and was so excited about the prospect. I was told that the job was mine, then I was emailed and told that a former employee had emailed and said she might be moving back to Tulsa and they were going to give the position to her. I was devastated. Then a few weeks later I was emailed again offering me the job again. Needless to say I declined b…

Just Keep Swimming...

Somewhere around my third phone conversation with my insurance company today I hit my wall, hard. I'm not fit for human contact today. I have cried with my dog, I have cried in the lobby of my kids school, through doctors appointments, and in the car. I will probably cry again before I go to bed tonight. My coping mechanisms are crying and chocolate. We are currently out of chocolate.
This weekend was epically bad. #1 and went to a cheer competition in Dallas, Texas for the weekend. We were just there last month, staying in the same hotel. Saturday was day one of the competition and a long day. We left our hotel early and came back around 8:30. We were exhausted and showers and bed were needed. #1 and I were both in bed asleep by 9:30. Around 11:40 a cheer mom calls my cell phone and asks me to come down to the lobby. I get a sweatshirt and pants on and start making my way downstairs before I even thought about it. It was an automatic response. Halfway down I decided to look at my…