Skip to main content

Reaching Goals and Defeating the Inner Voice

Guess what happened today?! I completed something I started two years ago!!! I know. I know. Two years seems like a long time. Especially when I started and stopped a million times. But, 9 weeks ago I set a goal for myself, and today I completed it.


I completed a Couch to 5K program, and I am proud of myself for the accomplishment. I have started and stopped this program a dozen times, always around week five or six. I had a million excuses not to finish it. To some this may seem like a pretty minor accomplishment. I know lots of people who could do a 5K in their sleep. However, me, I have never been a runner. I have never considered myself an athlete. Finishing this today felt really great.
Growing up I was never encouraged to participate in sports or extracurricular activities. In fact, I was almost discouraged from participating. If I would say I wanted to try something, like running track, I was told "You can't do that. You aren't a runner." I wanted to do basketball one year and was told that I was not coordinated enough to play basketball, and the other girls were much better than me. One year in middle school I wanted to be a cheerleader. I wanted to be a cheerleader more than anything in the world. I asked my parents if I could try out. My Dad's general response was "Whatever you want to do Jaynabird." Surprisingly, my mother also agreed to let me try out. At the time I babysat a little girl whose older sister was a varsity cheerleader. She helped me practice and I gave it all I had. I was so nervous I didn't talk about it with anyone. I waited patiently for the list of girls who made the team to be posted. My name was on it!!! I was so excited. I told my mother and she said "Oh. I didn't think you would actually make the team. Those girls all have reputations, and you can't be a part of that." Devastated doesn't scratch the surface of how I felt. After that I stopped asking to do things. In high school I half heartedly tried out for the flag team. I was not surprised and a little relieved I did not make the team. During high school I became involved in yearbook and photography. I really enjoyed it, and never gave team sports a second thought. Over the years I convinced myself I wasn't an athlete, and sports were not my thing.
In college students could use the campus fitness facility for free. I had a boyfriend and a good friend who worked out there all the time. I started going with them and discovered I really liked it. It quickly became a habit that I have maintained. A friend of mine teaches spin classes. Six years ago he convinced me to try out one of his classes. I was instantly hooked and have done spin since then. About two years ago I started getting bored with the monotony of my workouts and decided I needed to shake things up. That's when I downloaded the app. I didn't tell anyone for weeks that I was doing it. The first time I made it to week seven and my mother broke her neck, and everything stopped. It took a while, but I started the program over, and quit, a few dozen times. During one restart I mentioned to my mother that I had started running and she laughed and told me I was not a runner. I reverted back to my childhood self and stopped running.
I have been working on inner dialogue a lot lately. I'm learning to stand up for myself more and voice my opinion more. I still have a lot of work to do. But, I have a daughter, who is watching me and I hear myself in her, a lot more than I want to admit. I want her inner dialogue to be "Anything you want to do Jaynabird." 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Hurt So Good

Ever done something that hurts, is hard, and you want to quit, but when you are done it feels so good??? That's how this week has gone for me. This week on my fitness tour brought me to Revved Fitness.  And it hurt so good.
Revved is almost identical to Orangetheory. They do a combination of cardio and strength. You wear a heart rate monitor and the goal is to to elevate your heart rate and work in certain zones. The only difference I noticed is that Revved uses stationary bikes for cardio and Orangetheory uses treadmills.
Revved offers a 7 day trial for $10. I signed up online and went to my first class Monday morning. Monday morning came and was stormy, early, and a line was almost out the door when I arrived. Yikes! I signed in and wandered into the room. It was a BIG class. All the bikes were full, and there were people on rowers and the strength area. The trainer split us in half. Half the class started with strength the other half started with cardio. I got in the strength …

Day 2....

Day 2 was not without some frustration. We started the morning off strong. Owen peed in the potty first thing this morning. Carter waited over an hour and then pooped in his underwear. However, sometime this morning Carter got it. He started peeing in the potty. There were even times he would tell me he had to potty and we would go in and he would sit down and pee. He had three accidents all day after he pooped in his pants. Proud Mama over here! Owen had a lot more accidents today. It frustrated me because he did so good yesterday that today it just kinda went down the drain. I think he turned it into a game and I'm not real sure what to do about that. He would say about every 30 seconds he had to potty. We would go to the potty and nothing. He would sit there and giggle, laugh and wiggle around on the potty. Then he would get up and go play. A minute later he was back on the potty. Ugh....it was exhausting. And majorly frustrating for me. He only peed in his pants a few times t…

Potty Mouth

You would think I would be referring to myself or Mr. Mayer. But, no. I'm talking about the precocious little girl that lives in this house.
"I cleaned my room damn good."
Wait. What? That was the sentence Diva told me a few weeks ago when I asked her if she had cleaned her room. I was in shock. Mr. Mayer was stifling a laugh. Diva was dead serious.
A few days after that she came downstairs and told me to "Tell those damn boys to leave my damn toys alone." Apparently her brother's were messing with her Barbies.
We have also had the occasional "damn it" when she drops something or spills something. It was super embarrassing when we were at Target and she dropped a toy in the toy department and said "damn it." Thankfully there was no one around to hear her.
Diva's um...creative (?) vocabulary started as soon as she started speaking. She has always used big words, whether she knew what they meant or not. Mr. Mayer and I are totally to b…