Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Who Are You and Why Are You Touching My Baby?
People love babies. I know this. Working in Child Abuse for 10 years has taught me that people love babies. They are cute and snuggly and so loveable. Now, two babies, that is really something special. I've adjusted to the fact that I have twins. I have even adjusted to the fact that I have a 3 year old and twin babies. What I am still not used to is the staring. I'm a somewhat shy person. I don't like to draw attention to myself, I don't speak up in crowds and I have a hard time standing up for myself. Since I have had Shrek and Donkey I have noticed how unapologetically people stare at me and my family like we are circus freaks. Not only do people blatantly stare when we go out somewhere, but they ask questions too. My favorite questions is "Are they twins?" I promise one of these days I am going to reply "No, they are just brothers." or maybe "No, I just had my kids really close together." My most recent experience with the staring and questioning was at the State Fair. We took Diva to the fair recently so naturally we had to take Shrek and Donkey since we can't leave them home alone. I had mentioned to Mr. Hubs about the people staring. He thought I was being overly sensitive. However, on this trip we hadn't been there 5 minutes before he said "Wow, you're right, people really do stare." Some people would even turn around after we had passed to get another look-- no lie! We made our way through the fair with our brood in tow consisting of a giant double stroller and a small umbrella stroller for Diva. We did the petting zoo, attempted to ride ponies (that didn't happen and she decided she just wanted to look at them), did "jupery jumps" (Diva speak for Jupiter Jumps) and all the other fun fair stuff. We realized over the coarse of our hour long attempt at lunch that it takes a little longer to get everyone fed and happy these days. Towards the end of the day Diva was still going strong and Mommy and Daddy were very tired. We made our way to another building where they had exhibits and photography winners. Mr. Hubs is a wonderful photographer and wanted to see what other people were doing. When we get there Shrek and Donkey needed diaper changes so we start that process. Naturally Diva had to "go potty" again so her and Daddy did that while I changed diapers. It was time to feed the babies again so we found a bench and got ready to feed them. I decided since everyone else had potty breaks I probably should. I left Mr. Hubs with the kids. When I made my return there was a woman leaning over the stroller where Shrek and Donkey had spent their day. Diva was bouncing around and Mr. Hubs was sitting on the bench holding one baby. As I got closer she had her hands in the stroller trying to put a pacifier in Shrek's mouth. In my mind I kept saying "Maybe Mr. Hubs knows her? I really hope he knows her." When I sat down it became very evident that Mr. Hubs had no idea who this woman touching my baby was. She was friendly enough and chatting away. I quickly grabbed Shrek away from her and started feeding him his bottle. About this same time the woman's husband approached us and asked her what she was doing..."I'm just helping him, he had his hands full." I gave Mr. Hubs a look to say "What the H happened while I was gone?!" The woman's husband whisked her away after that and I asked Mr. Hubs "Who was the woman touching my baby?" He still had the look of shock on his face and said "No idea, she just came over here and started messing with him. I told her you would be right back." Great, we've progressed from staring to utter strangers touching my kids. So, there we sat, feeling molested and fed our babies while Diva danced and pranced around without a care in the world. Naturally as we sat on our little bench surrounded by strollers and kids people walked by and stared like we were a fair exhibit. I'm still in shock that a stranger would come up and touch another person's child. I don't know if I will get used to the staring and the dumb questions. It makes me terribly uncomfortable. But I know that I cannot stay in a cave until the kids are grown. I want to get out and enjoy life, stares or not. I just hope the touching is kept to a minimum.
Posted by Jayna Mayer at 6:29 AM