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Just Another Day In Paradise

By Anonymous

I don't want to brag, but I think I've seen every public restroom in the tri-state area and New Mexico. Don't be jealous. In all seriousness why did I potty train my children?! OMG! It never fails. Anytime we go anywhere someone has to potty. It doesn't matter if I make everyone go before we leave the house or when we first get somewhere. In the middle of whatever we are doing I hear "there is something coming out of my butt! I have to poop now!!" Or there is the super embarrassing right in the middle of Target "My PENIS hurts!!! Weally weally bad!!!" Then there is #2 that likes to hold himself because I guess that makes it better? Or #1 who squats down on the floor and looks like she's in pain then tells me she doesn't need to go. Ugh. I really don't like public restrooms :/ Today was no different than any other day. We went to Target and penis' started hurting and things started coming out of butts. Then like most Fridays I took the Dudes to Burger King to play and have lunch. I do this because my housekeeper comes Friday mornings and I feel sorry for her. Not only does she have to clean my war zone but my children always want to "help." They are terrible helpers. However, when I'm cleaning I can't pay them to help me. So we go run errands and have lunch to save Miss Kari's sanity. We order our food, get our drinks and sit down. #2 takes one bite of his burger and immediately announces to the entire restaurant he has to poop. Grrr...then #3 throws a fit because he doesn't need to potty. I explain that I can't leave him at the table alone and he might as well try while we are in there. Business taken care of we go back to our waiting lunch. Yes. I left all our food unattended at a table in a fast food joint. There really aren't any other options. We finish lunch. As I'm cleaning up #3 runs out if the play area screaming "Something's coming out of my butt!!! I have to go now!!!" Really?! You both just went 15 minutes ago!!! Grrr.... It is now #2's turn to throw a fit because he doesn't need to go. Oh no buddy. You ARE going again. We potty. Again. And go back to playing. I'm hoping we can make it back the 1/2 mile back to our house without another potty break. Good grief. 

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