Skip to main content

Poopaggedon....Part Whatever....It Happened Again!

I think I just threw up a little. As I have previously stated here and here I don't like poop.
These precious little shit bomb angels had a bath tonight. Mr. Mayer was cleaning the kitchen up after dinner and the Diva and I were doing the bath. They were washed and just playing in the tub. I step out and grab the humidifier and step back in and fill it up. I step back in (literally it's only 5 steps, maybe) and Carter is taking a bite of something. First glance I think it's a bath toy. I step a little closer and he holds it out to me. I instinctively hold my hand out. Carter places a turd in my hand. HE JUST TOOK A BITE OF A TURD!!!!! I think I just threw up a little more typing this. Now. I'm not certain of the culprit. I'm assuming the poo-er is Owen. He went a little just before he got in the bath. I guess he wasn't finished. Either way...I start shrieking. Mr. Mayer comes in and laughs at me. He calmly suggest that maybe it wasn't a turd. I direct him towards the trash can where I threw the turd. Okay. Maybe Carter didn't really take a bite. He had some on his chin and I stood there and watched him take a bite. Dis-gust-ing. Mr. Mayer helps clean the dudes up~again. I dry and lotion. They have terrible horrible no good diaper rash right now so we are letting them run amok in the living room-diaper less. I think I may regret this decision.
I'm nauseous. My kid just ate poop. Again!
And, in an effort to not disappoint Owen just pooped in the living room floor. Naked time is over! At least Mr. Mayer picked it up before the dogs or Carter ate it.




Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Nana Karen's Red Sauce and Meatballs~ Oh My!

When I am in the mood for comfort food my mind immediately goes to Spaghetti and Meatballs. It has been my favorite for as long as I can remember. My version of the dish consists of jarred sauce and ground beef or frozen meatballs because I didn't know how to make meatballs. Enter Nana Karen. When I was pregnant with Shrek and Donkey there wasn't much I could do the further along I got. Nana Karen would come over about once a week and make dinner and help me with whatever. She was a God send. It was an enormous help. One of the things she would make was Spaghetti and Meatballs. Wow! She made homemade sauce and from scratch meatballs. Every time I eat this dish I am in heaven. Nana Karen is an old school cook. She doesn't measure anything and makes everything from memory. A few weeks ago she found a pasta maker that her and I have been playing with and making homemade pasta. If you have never had homemade pasta it is divine!  She came over today to make some pasta. While s

Potty Mouth

You would think I would be referring to myself or Mr. Mayer. But, no. I'm talking about the precocious little girl that lives in this house. "I cleaned my room damn good." Wait. What? That was the sentence Diva told me a few weeks ago when I asked her if she had cleaned her room. I was in shock. Mr. Mayer was stifling a laugh. Diva was dead serious. A few days after that she came downstairs and told me to "Tell those damn boys to leave my damn toys alone." Apparently her brother's were messing with her Barbies. We have also had the occasional "damn it" when she drops something or spills something. It was super embarrassing when we were at Target and she dropped a toy in the toy department and said "damn it." Thankfully there was no one around to hear her. Diva's um...creative (?) vocabulary started as soon as she started speaking. She has always used big words, whether she knew what they meant or not. Mr. Mayer and I are totally

So, Good News Is I Didn't Pee Myself...

Seriously, this is exciting news. I have had 3 kids. I have had 3 gigantic kids. Two of those giants were vaginal deliveries. #3 decided to be spontaneous and insist on a C-section. Yeah, that was fun. So, the exciting result of 3 kids that NO ONE EVER TALKS ABOUT?! You pee yourself. It's true. I leaked a little after I had Diva. After twins? I pee myself. What causes it? Laughing, coughing (bronchitis is a death sentence) , sneezing, jumping, running, hop scotch, jump rope and any other jarring activity. It's embarrassing. And, before anyone says "Oh, just do kegel's. It will stop that." I've been doing kegel's since 2007. It's not helping. I still pee.  So, what happened that I didn't pee myself? I would LOVE to tell you. I went to Body Pump before dawn this morning. Half way during class the instructor had us do a move that was terrifying and caused me to panic a little. Well, a lot. A whole lot. She expected the class to jump on and off of o