It's always fun to talk to other parents of multiples. They are the only other people in the world that truly understands and can laugh with you about the things that are said/ask of you. It's a feeling of camaraderie that you don't feel with other's. I belong to a local group of MOMs (Mother's of Multiples). I love getting together with these ladies and talking with them. We share and laugh about whatever our kids are doing or the newest crazy thing we were asked at the grocery store. I'll be perfectly honest....the attention the kids and I would get when we would go out anywhere really bothered me in the beginning. The questions that I was asked bothered me even more. Somewhere along the way I have gotten over that. In fact I even find humor in the looks we get now a days. And I dare someone to give me the stink eye at the grocery store when one of the boys is screaming his head off because he has to ride in a cart or his brother touched him. Because, yeah, um, that never happens. I was just guessing that it might happen. My kids are perfect (dripping with sarcasm).
Now....let me set the stage of the latest conversation for you...
Olivia does gymnastics one day a week. She has a couple of friends that go to the same gymnastics place. Every once in a while her two friends (who happen to be sisters) come home with us after gymnastics. This week was no exception. Olivia is always asking to go eat "in a restaurant." It's a pretty big deal to get to do this. Because honestly the idea of carting the Dudes inside an eating establishment by myself is daunting. We typically do drive-thru. This week however I must have been drinking to much or something because after gymnastics I loaded up Olivia, the Dudes and Olivia's two little friends then offered to take them to eat pizza~in a restaurant! Mr. Mayer was doing a happy hour with some friends after work so I decided it would be fun for the girls. Clearly I was not thinking. I chose a place close to our house that was small and I thought would be safer and easier for me to maneuver than a larger place. On the way I called Aunt Bets to see if she wanted dinner. It was kind of last minute so I wasn't really guessing she would, but she said she would meet us. Yay!! A grown up!! We arrive and the girls all run inside and I carry the Dudes in clumsily. I have to give a big shout out to the woman working the counter. She came and helped me get the boys in high chairs and gave all the kids suckers so they would be quiet and I could get things situated. Naturally all 3 girls had to go potty. This place was tiny so I was comfortable letting them go in by themselves. The bathroom was right off the dining room area and I could hear them giggling. I order. While we are waiting a man from in the back comes out. He looks at the 5 kids at the table with me. The girls are being very giggly and the Dudes are loving it. Then as always happens he goes :
Man: "Are all these kids yours?"
Me: "No, just 3 of them."
Man: "Wow! That's a lot. The two babies can't both be yours."
Me: "Actually, no they are 2 of my three."
Man: "Oh, wow! Are they twins or something?"
Me: this is the part I really want to be smart and say or something. I always stop myself and just say "yeah, they are twins."
Man: "You have your hands full."
I think that is the standard response when anyone sees us "You have your hands full." Like I said above. I hardly notice anymore. I typically just laugh and go about my business without much of a response. It doesn't really bother me~anymore. I can't say it never did because it did. This statement is a source of lots of discussion amongst my other Twin Mommies. Some ladies respond by saying "It's a good full." Another really common statement I hear a ton is "Oh there's double trouble." Again. I hardly acknowledge it anymore or notice. I again just laugh and go about my business. Some ladies have said that when someone says that to them they say "Double the love" or "Double the blessings," etc. You get the idea. Me. I'm not that clever to think of a response. I can say that even after all this time when I get questions about how I got pregnant with my twins, whether we did fertility treatments, runs in my family, etc. still shocks me when it's a complete stranger asking me these questions in the middle of WalMart. I still get uncomfortable in those conversations. I chuckle when I'm asked if the Dudes are identical. One has blond hair. One has brown hair. Besides that glaring difference there are a few other physical differences that make me just go "Whuck?!" Are we looking at the same kids? Clearly they are not identical. Needless to say I feel very fortunate that I have maintained my humor through this adventure and that I have a great support system of other MOMs who have shared the same experiences and can laugh with me.
Totally understand your thoughts :)ReplyDelete