Monday, April 23, 2012

Totally Lost My Schmidt


I blogged here last night about Carter being sick and me on the verge of losing my mind. Well. It happened. I lost it. In the middle of the Urgent Care waiting room. Not my best moment.
I use blogging as an outlet and a stress reliever. It didn't work last night. I still felt as terrible as before I blogged. Soon after I posted Carter started crying again. I was exhausted and worried about my baby. You know your kids and you know when there is something wrong. Even if you can't put your finger on what that is and can't find the words to say what the problem is. Mr. Mayer and I decided that Carter could not wait until the morning to call the doctor and I took him to the Pediatric Urgent Care near us. We have gone there a lot is seems. When I arrive Carter is continuing to scream and my nerves are shot. There are several families in the waiting room. I walk up to the front desk to check in. The woman behind the desk very nicely says "I'm sorry. We are full. I don't have any room right now." No.No.No. You can't tell me that. I feel the tears start to pool in my eyes. Great. I hate crying. I manage to squeak out "Can we just wait for a little bit?" I start crying. I can see the look of terror in her face as her eyes get wide. *Sigh* I go sit down with my screaming child and try to compose myself. Seems the harder I try to calm myself down the more I cry. Not what I was wanting to do. She hands me a form to fill out. I start to calm down a little. Then she asks me what is going on with Carter and why I want him to be seen. I completely lose it~again. Only this time I'm crying harder and starting to blubber. I'm sure I was a sight to see. I could feel the other people in the waiting room staring at me. I couldn't help myself. I blubber out the issue and tell her I'm not sure what is wrong. In the meantime Carter is continuing to scream, moan and cry. I go sit in a seat near the front desk. There was an older gentleman sitting on the opposite end from me. He gets up and moves when I sit down. Wow. Thanks. We are repelling people. I continue to cry and blubber with Carter as we sit and wait. The waiting room starts to empty out. Two people came in after me and they were sent away to a local Emergency Room. I really hope they see us. About 15 minutes later the woman at the front desk says that they are going to work me in. THANK YOU! I text Mr. Mayer and tell him that
"I guess crying like a fool in the waiting room with a screaming 
kid worked.They said they would squeeze us in. "
We go back to the room. The only way I can get Carter to stop crying is to play music on my phone, hold him standing up and sway to the music. He would lay the phone on my chest and his head on the phone. If I sat down or stopped moving he would start crying again. At this point I will do anything so I sway to the ABC song and Brittany Spears (I have a wide variety on my IPod). The nurses look at Carter. By this point he has that pimply rash all over his hands and chin. The rest of his body was covered by pajamas. The nurses say "Does he have it on his feet?" I don't know. He didn't have any of this when I put him to bed tonight. The nurse tells me that they have seen a lot of Hand Foot and Mouth Disease lately and that is what it looks like on Carter. What? I'm not sure I know what that is. The Doctor comes in. I'm still crying. I start crying again when I have to tell her his symptoms. Sheesh. What is it with me and the tears tonight?! She looks at Carter and says "Yup. I know what that is. Hand Foot and Mouth is going around. It's highly contagious." She looks in his mouth. I take his pajamas off of him. The rash is on his torso, legs and....his feet. I tell the Doctor that the rash was not there at 6:30 when I gave him a bath and put his pajamas on him. She explains to me that the rash can show up quickly. No kidding! She says that in addition to the rash on the skin that they get blisters  in their throat which is why he isn't eating and so cranky. Poor guy. The Doctor says to give him cool liquids and make sure he doesn't get dehydrated. Give him Ibuprofen every 6 hours to help make him comfortable. Otherwise it last 7-10 days and there is not really anything else we can do. Dang. I was really hoping there was some magic medicine I could give him that would return him to my happy little boy. We go home and I put him to bed after some Ibuprofen. Then....he sleeps! He wakes up twice during the night but it was very brief. This morning he slept until almost 9 and he ate some breakfast. Not much, but it's a start. He's still not my happy little boy, but he is playing and not crying this morning. I'll take it. 
I feel terrible. In hindsight after learning the symptoms Owen has the same thing. Just not as bad a case. He has a rash on his bottom and his face. I thought his face was just pimples. We had even teased him for breaking out. Someone told me that once they have this they can't get it again. I hope not. 
Adding to that. I sent and email to people I knew that were at the birthday party yesterday. Had Mr. Mayer and I known our kids were truly funky we never would have taken them to a park!! Sheesh. Let's just infect the whole county. I apologized and hope that they are still my friends after this experience. 
Today I feel like I might survive. I guess sometimes we just have to lose it to start feeling better. I just hate that I had my break down in the middle of the Urgent Care. 

1 comment:

  1. Oh my goodness girl you have been thru a lot. I'm sorry...hoping it is getting better. Just think...you are not the only Mommy who has broke down in tears(even at Urgent Care, work, Walmart or wherever).
    Hang in there!

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